Colonel Reverend Ryan

god won't let me die

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

Twitter is fun because you'll be followed by literal doctors, and also some dude named Chumps McCumdumpster.

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

I know getting rid of the block feature is a mistake on account of knowing at least a single woman

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

@chafingarmor *Thwipping a mountain dew into my hands*

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

From my perspective humanity has created the greatest music in the universe

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

@slavjew @SenFettermanPA I would say go fuck yourself but your dick probably doesn't work

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

You know, I never used to understand why a single person would launch 1,000 ships. I get it

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

Fuck them billionaires

[Skyler Higley @skyler_higley]

You should get paid overtime if you have a dream about work

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

Fun fact: I invented the lie

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

@samreich What're you a cop?

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

@RiotGrlErin For a few hundred dollars a week I will come and shoot the demons in your house

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

Huh... a heaping amount of gold doesn't seem like that much gold. That shits heavy

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

nobody gets my intellectual property. not even me

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

@thefruityfroot @hailthevail I'm glad I scrolled down to make sure that I wasn't the only one to think that

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

Your honor, permission to treat everyone as hostile. I'm just in a bad mood

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

@elfinahat This is literally in the first chapter of the Bible

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

Darth Vader is the mf who brings his own fog machine to the fight

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

There are very few things I'm looking forward to more than 'Cocaine Bear'

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

Wait... who tf programmed battle droids to feel fear?

[Colonel Reverend Ryan @ColonelRyan_I]

Airports need to have a designated screaming room