Coltin

Look at that, it’s get better day again.

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

Yes yes it is really me, I am back on Twitter.

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

Australians are just Floridians with worse haircuts.

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

My body is a machine. A machine that turns perfectly safe highly-filtered air into massive suffocating amounts of mucus.

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

My version of biohacking involves drinking a gazillion beers, coming home to enjoy a sweet treat and a banana, then washing them down with three ibuprofen and a glass of Liquid IV.

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

@elonmusk @DOGE Does anyone know if there is a way to recast your vote? I clicked “No” on accident while scrolling.

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

When people ask why @elonmusk is so fixated on government waste.

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

@fettacheesefan @twtrlssanna

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

@carlsteez @twtrlssanna

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

@twtrlssanna 🫡

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

@twtrlssanna That took me 10 minutes in my notes to get all the emojis, enjoy the fruits of my labor.

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

@twtrlssanna OVAL OFFICE 🛋️, ROASTING 🔥 NIXON 💀 WITH LINCOLN 🎩 AND PROBABLY TEACHING REAGAN HOW TO BE LESS OF A DICK ✋🏼SIPPING 🍹 SWEET TEA 🍑, AND DECORATING ✨ WITH RAINBOWS🌈. REST 🙏🏻 IN POWER 💪🏼, JIMMY 👑-HEAVEN'S 🏰NEW ICON 🌟LONG LIVE 🔥 THE CARTER-USSY💫🍑✨!

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

Me when someone mentions mashed potatoes.

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

Wait till I tell y’all the story of how one iceberg led to the US slowly becoming a nation of socialism.

[Rothmus 🏴 @Rothmus]

🎯

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

Dave Ramsey is to middle class 9-5 men what Andrew Tate is to teenage boys.

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

Nobody tell him about season 3

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

So does he.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

I keep forgetting that Biden is still technically in charge of the country 😂

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

Crack dogs 🐕🐕🐕

[Posts By Feds @SuspectFed]

Tell us your groupchat name👀

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

It just feels so much better when I can.
🙂🔫

[Coltin @ColtinReed_]

Can’t believe Vince McMahon left the WWE and started running the RNC. He’s still using the same actors just a different fake fight.