Chris Woolsey

Comedian. Go ahead, you can laugh now. Also travel the country as founding member of Team Wordplay comedy ministry.

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

@GaryPetersonUSA Hopefully they read enough to realize none of these references are actually from "Animal Farm" since Orson the Pig was from the Jim Davis comic strip "U.S. Acres" and this image is from the book "Charlotte's Web". 😃

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

Sad @Shell doesn’t care about their customers. Our local #Shell station had a faulty nozzle that sprayed gas all over me & my car, ruining my clothing. After Shell corporate found out they said there was nothing they could do to reimburse me. Guess I’ll be gassing up elsewhere.

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

I was a football coach! I mean a “football” coach! A futbol coach? #halloween2021

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

@DustinNickerson Our family just watched it Dustin and the kids loved it. It was so well received that my daughter doubted I had ever performed with you.

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

They say not to go grocery shopping when you’re hungry. We went to CostCo right after church. All I can say is it’s a good thing both our kids have two kidneys because someone on the black market is going to have to cover this disaster.

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

@GE_Appliances Thanks to the GE team for sending out the wonderful technician Cesar who fixed our washing machine! Really appreciate the effort!

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

Yesterday @GE_Appliances failed to call me from a GE number or our complex’s call box. After calling GE back I was told the next available appointment would be 7 weeks from now. Apparently GE only has one repairman working in the western United States. Really strong customer care

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

@GE_Appliances Thank you for checking back. They were eventually able to understand that six weeks was not appropriate and I now have an appointment for Monday. Thank you.

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

@DustinNickerson Right? Usually the “Your Opinions Are Adorably Ignorant” tactic works like a charm!

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

This morning on our walk:
Wife: “Are those the new cut off shorts that you made this weekend?“
Me: “Yup! And I already got two compliments on them this morning.”
Wife: “How is that even possible?”
Me: “They were both from me!”
Wife: 🙄
Me: 😃

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

@taylortomlinson YES! Every time!

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

@DustinNickerson That’s a lot of love right there.

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

@GE_Appliances No response for OVER 24 hours! Is this how @GE_Appliances cares for their customers? Really impressive stuff.

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

So disappointed in @GE_Appliances! Been a GE customer my entire life. My wife and I spent over $1,500 on a stackable washer/dryer less than 2 years ago that stopped working just outside of warranty. Customer support said they won’t stand behind their brand. Guess I’m done w/ GE?

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

If @GE_Appliances was as good at actually fixing my broken yet almost brand-new GE washing machine as they are at telling me they are getting “right on it”, maybe my house might not stink from the stagnant water still sitting in my washer. What’s going on GE???

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

#JeffBezos

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

@GE_Appliances I sent you a DM with all my details. I appreciate your immediate attention to this very frustrating experience

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

SO glad I spent over an hour of my time scooping rancid water from my nearly new @GE_Appliances washing machine into the toilet because my house is smelling like a Porto potty at a @phish festival in July! So sad GE won’t stand behind their product like @whirlpoolusa does!

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

@GE_Appliances I sent you a DM with all my details. I appreciate your immediate attention to this very frustrating experience.

[Chris Woolsey @ComicWoolsey]

Amazing lunch with my Jr. High best Matt Woods! @giraffelife72 It’s been 33 years but it’s like not a day has gone by. And we’re old. Really old. 😃