Conner Kennedy

[Total Football @TotalFootball]

Switzerland fans makes the best banner

[Jenni @hashjenni]

Affordable housing

[Eniola 💋 @Littlemrs_A]

Refusing to be in charge of food orders at work.

Recently was planning a gaming day with a bunch of men & they decided to order pizzas and just moved on. I was like hold on, who’s ordering them? You should have seen their guilt ridden faces.

[Katie D @KatieDeal99]

My daughter asked me if the tooth fairy would only give money for *her* teeth and I’m a little concerned

[Kip Conlon @kipconlon]

My dad has beers with his buddies each Wednesday and makes a list of things to talk about beforehand and it is the cutest thing in the world!

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

You could never make Blazing Saddles today because if you did, powerful movie lawyers would send you a cease and desist letter saying there’s already a movie called Blazing Saddles from 1974 with the same script and cast and so you can’t make it

[meredith 🍉 @dietz_meredith]

(to the tune of creep) im a creep

[Josh @PROTAGONE1L]

dating apps aren’t working anymore, i’m gonna start sitting next to couples at challengers screenings

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

Me: Are Medusa’s pubes snakes too?
Accountant: I meant questions about your tax return.

[limp brittzkit @Brittymigs]

Dentist: have you been flossing?

*mouth pooling with blood*
Me: most definitely

[Dexerto @Dexerto]

Hundreds gathered in NYC to watch a masked man eat a gigantic jar of cheese balls

[Vic 📠 @VicVijayakumar]

Messages that you can expect to receive years after leaving a startup

[Ben Rosen @ben_rosen]

just submitted my packet for the democratic fundraising job

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

high school food here is awesome. hasn’t changed a bit. No other time or situation where you’d House chicken wings a pint of chocolate milk Skyrim bread roll and green goo all in under half an hour. And then go learn about the civil rights movement from a football coach.