almost sober

under water break-dancing expert, norwegian fasion consultant, experimenting in tantra

[Terrence K. Williams @w_terrence]

HOLY MOLY! This is the funniest video on the internet. Enjoy!

Follow @iamNickPeterson he is absolutely hilarious

[almost sober @CoryEimers]

Don’t go offending people, she says. I’m offended that you’re offended!

[Cloyd Rivers @CloydRivers]

Merica.

[Cloyd Rivers @CloydRivers]

Taxes explained.
(MUST READ)
Merica.

[almost sober @CoryEimers]

I’m starting to think I may have COVID-everything I drink tastes like it has alcohol in it🤔

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

I don’t drink alcohol on lunch breaks because the last thing I need is more motivation to tell everyone to fuck off.

[almost sober @CoryEimers]

I could get used to this social distancing thing😎

[almost sober @CoryEimers]

Did you know that if boobs didn’t have nipples, they’d be pointless🤔

[almost sober @CoryEimers]

Now I know where the expression FML comes from. Somebody got a karaoke machine for Christmas

[almost sober @CoryEimers]

I have so many questions, but not sure I will get any intelligent answers-like “how hungry do u have to be to eat one of these?”

[almost sober @CoryEimers]

It’s a sad world we live in these days!

[Michael Waddell @BoogerBottom]

Please find this kids parents contact, we here at Bone Collector would like to take this young man hunting to enjoy the peace & calm of the outdoors & be around men & women that are assets to America that can build this kids confidence.
This is what scares the liberals.

[AndyInSA @AndyinSA84]

Struggling to get your wife’s attention?

Just sit down and look comfortable.

[almost sober @CoryEimers]

Good thing I didn’t put metal railings on the deck

[Ron White @Ron_White]

I’ve always been a pretty good listener but my real talent is not giving a shit.

[brix @MBrix23]

Best Beer Brand:

10. You cannot
9. Rank
8. Them because
7. Everyone is
6. Different and
5. We each
4. Have
3. Different
2. Preferences
1. Busch Light

[almost sober @CoryEimers]

Day 5 in Nashville-my liver is not happy anymore! Come to think about it, it’s always in a bad mood