Jerm

[Jerm @Cracker_drum]

Can't wait to see you fail, your scream/laugh makes me lose it every time. #TeamMurr

[Jerm @Cracker_drum]

Well @YahooScreen, you have successfully ensured that I will never use this service. 18 commercials or 3 repeated 6 times instead of my show

[Jerm @Cracker_drum]

@YahooScreen there is no reason to have 8 commercials (not exaggerating) with only 45 seconds of @CommunityTV, knock it off.

[just a cool dad @bestdadevr]

bro do u even have mesothelioma

[Ponytail AJ @ajfox29]

Do not ask me why I do the shit that I do because I can't explain what I don't understand ✌️✌️

[Overly Manly Man @OverlyManlyMann]

Gets pulled over. Gives policeman a ticket.

[Overly Manly Man @OverlyManlyMann]

A girlfriend would be great, but I'm already in a pretty committed relationship with alcoholism and bad decisions.

[Overly Manly Man @OverlyManlyMann]

Seatbelt? Ah, you mean the bitch sash.

[Jerm @Cracker_drum]

@TimBurton_ there are no films I'd rather watch than yours. Especially when I'm drunk and alone; take this how you wish.

[Jerm @Cracker_drum]

"Is that poop? No, it's syrup. 🎶syruuuuuup🎶" #shitcrazypeoplesay

[Jerm @Cracker_drum]

Patient: imma kill yo wife 'n' kids
Me: I don't have either of those
Patient: imma still kill 'em, fuckin bitch
He's 9. #shittcrazypeoplesay

[Jerm @Cracker_drum]

"There's a race car in the hall. He's invisible and silent but he's there."
#shitcrazypeoplesay

[Daenerys Targaryen @Daenerys]

What's scarier than a White Walker?

[Daenerys Targaryen @Daenerys]

The Hound tells it how it is.

[Jerm @Cracker_drum]

Ten out of one women is a Russian nesting doll.