Edith Hope

45. After 5 years and 5 pregnancies (and 2 failed IVFs) our baby landed on planet Earth in 2021. The war stories are in the blog. Luckiest person alive.

[Edith Hope @CrazyBigHope]

@TryingBaby Thank you for such kind words! There’s a lot of fellowship to be had on this long road. I’m thrilled that you are so close to meeting your little one, thinking of you over the next few weeks ❤️

[Edith Hope @CrazyBigHope]

I wrote a blog late in my pregnancy that I was far too scared to publish at the time, but here it is now.

https://t.co/B7iCqO2hNi

[Edith Hope @CrazyBigHope]

I no longer need this channel to process my feelings, so I’ll be off Twitter. But I will keep faith always with all the men and women who yearn for a child. I found so much strength in the childless not by choice community, and I hope to be a half-decent ally. Go well, friends.

[Edith Hope @CrazyBigHope]

And so, a chapter closes. Actually it closed in December when our baby was born. Our crazy, unearned good fortune - that we have this chance to hold him, and love him and be his mum and dad - still makes me feel dizzy.

[Edith Hope @CrazyBigHope]

@ivf_warrior I'm so, so sorry for your loss 💕

[Edith Hope @CrazyBigHope]

3 years ago I was induced, laboured and gave birth to my baby at 17w3d. He was so wanted, but I ended the pregnancy, though my husband didn't want to. Neither of us will ever forget him. #BreakTheSilence #TFMR @ARCantenatal @tommys ⁦@Petalscharity⁩ https://t.co/FsNsUw8ygv

[Edith Hope @CrazyBigHope]

@ivf_warrior I'm so, so sorry to hear this. When we had worrying results from our 12-wk scan we leant heavily on the @ARCantenatal helpline - lovely people, non-directive, sensitive. They were almost the only people other than my husband that I could share my feelings with at a horrible time.

[eleanormorgan @eleanormorgan]

This piece by Olivia Laing really resonated. When you’re single and most of your friends are in couples or have young families it can be... tough. https://t.co/sWoofr5lMw

[Edith Hope @CrazyBigHope]

So the truth is, I don’t think there is any meaning in all this. If by some wonder this pregnancy continues, it will be the most magical, unexpected gift and there’s just no point trying to understand it. Plus, as we keep saying to each other, we still have a long way to go...

[Edith Hope @CrazyBigHope]

It’s a while since I’ve wanted to post, but I believe in closing loops... so here’s an update. In January I stopped using Ovulation Predictor Kits. I stopped the folic acid. I knew it was time to use all the strength I’d gained last year by connecting with the #CNBC world.

[Edith Hope @CrazyBigHope]

We had stopped trying after all, and spent months in therapy working to let go of the old dreams. But if I’ve learnt one thing over those five years it’s that my body is running this show, not my heart and certainly not my head.

[Edith Hope @CrazyBigHope]

And for the record, I completely disagree with Richard Dawkins on this (and a lot else).

[Edith Hope @CrazyBigHope]

If anyone is tempted to make assumptions about the feelings, attitudes or thought processes of parents who decide to end a pregnancy after a diagnosis of Down's Syndrome, I'd really encourage you not to.

#TFMR @ARCantenatal

[Edith Hope @CrazyBigHope]

https://t.co/TjyNdEYMOt