Charles D

Dad, ham, dog advocate.

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

If you didn’t get an appetizer, do you think you could eat a whole Peking duck by yourself? Second question, does anyone know where to get good Peking duck?

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

I think my dog might have dementia, she’s always telling me the same stories over and over.

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

Do you think instead of a wedding cake, anyone has ever had a wedding cheese? Like, they bought a big wheel of Parm Reg and just got nasty with pastas and stuff?

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

How come there’s no quidditch in the 5th one?

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

I wonder if my dogs know, the less sense I make, the happier I am to see them?

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

Life, liberty and the prosciutto happiness

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

What’s more cringe than a bad high five? Redoing a high five.

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

Do you eat the good half of a sandwich first or the bad half? And if you don’t know every sandwich has a better half, lord help you

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

@peteholmes have you seen Chris Fleming’s new special? His Birbiglia burn is one for the books

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

Don’t start eating your snack until picking your show

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

Do dolphins drink water?

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

A big argument with my 5yo just ended with me shouting “well sometimes farts have poop in them!” and us both bursting out laughing. These are the days.

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

Wait I thought Averman wrote ‘We are the Champions’??

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

Spindrift won’t call me back about my idea for a Banana flavor. 😡

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

A cat comedy club called You Gotta Be Kitten Me

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

Daniel’s a whiny bitch for a tiger.

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

New England has a sweet spot when you need neither a humidifier nor a dehumidifier. It’s a golden 8ish weeks starting in August that makes the rest of the time worth it.

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

@tophtucker @youwillmakemaps @simonsarris @isaacfrench_ Somebody had to say it. #Brave.

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

Are people pissed at trump? I can’t tell…

[Charles D @CrocsandaSubaru]

Rudolph milks the underdog angle for a guy who’s literally the most famous reindeer