The Big Crunch Theory

Christian Hedonist | Florida Supremacist | Southern Cosmopolitan | Side Splitters Regular | Classy Degenerate | Liberal Elitist | Blue Collar Scholar

[The Big Crunch Theory @CrunchCardwell]

Don't trust them new DEIs over there🎶
Leaving they DEI essence in the air 🎶

[Florida woman @stephanicci]

Wow that's an awesome fathers day story if only your dad had Instagram and could actually see it

[Mexican Rug Dealer @DealinRugs]

Bosnians survived a genocide, Inglewood ain’t scary for them

[tino @mirthincarnate]

my hat when i get a smooch on the cheek from a dame

[Kokukojuto @KokuKojuto]

The best development in basketball was nerds seeing this and saying "are you fucking stupid"

[The Big Crunch Theory @CrunchCardwell]

Anyone trying to tell you this is a normal Florida Summer day ain't really outside like that

[The Big Crunch Theory @CrunchCardwell]

@nazzobetweeting

[Mr Brute @BuddyNoLove]

You in there bullshitting if it takes you 12 months to see gains fr.

[The Big Crunch Theory @CrunchCardwell]

Overtime poops >>>>

[Sage @sagebored]

Jerry: She has a penis?

George: She had a PENIS, Jerry!

Elaine: So what if she had a penis?

(Kramer enters)

Elaine: Kramer, would you ever date a girl with a penis?

Kramer: I only date girls with penises

George: Really? Why?

Kramer: She knows her way around the equipment

[poppa @popitforpoppa]

i no green i dominican papi

[The Big Crunch Theory @CrunchCardwell]

@nazzobetweeting They think the whole borough was the Marcy projects

[The Big Crunch Theory @CrunchCardwell]

@stephanicci

[The Big Crunch Theory @CrunchCardwell]

One of my roommates just made a footlong boiled egg sandwich

[The Big Crunch Theory @CrunchCardwell]

Iverson, Wade then Brunson. This game is about BUCKETS

[Onyx @OnyxOdds]

Pick the 3 best players here

[The Big Crunch Theory @CrunchCardwell]

@stephanicci

[The Big Crunch Theory @CrunchCardwell]

"It's a floating resort!" - Me when I used to sell free cruises over the phone for $118 to people who signed up to win a car in the middle of the mall

[John Saponaro @johnsaponaro]

Cruises are the lowest common denominator of travel. “I wanna go somewhere, but I want it to take super long. I don’t wanna stay in the place. I wanna stay in a germ cauldron. I want everything — food, times, excursions — all dictated for me.”
I don’t think you wanna travel 🤨

[The Big Crunch Theory @CrunchCardwell]

@greengirlbella_ @dumdumfucktard Tastes like chicken but has a flaky texture like fish

[The Big Crunch Theory @CrunchCardwell]

I've only used it as a euphemism. White guys really gaslighting y'all like it's a medical condition

[Robin 🐛 @Undue_Risk]

is it a safe time to admit that I have never once felt “blue balls” and assumed that was a made up thing