Alex Cooper

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

@edfenergy are you for f*#king real - asking me to pay a previous occupiers outstanding balance that you are chasing? You’re customer service is shocking

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

I just entered @AutoTrader_UK’s monthly️ #ElectricCarGiveaway & you can too! This month’s prize is a MG Model MG4 worth over £26k! It’s free to enter & you have until 28th February. All information (including Ts&Cs) can be found here: https://t.co/FUC7Hlbjba

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

@WorldsStrongest Get in and hope he hasn’t shat himself!

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

Kids watching “Son Of Bigfoot” a PG on Sky Animation. What are these bullies gonna do to the goats!?!?!?

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

@superdrug I have emails text messages and still I can’t get my parcel from your store CHANGE YOUR DUMB FUCKING POLICY YOU PRICKS

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

Been busting my ass to get a 500lb deadlift in before I get another year older. I can now tick that off the list. #needtosetanewgoal

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

I just entered @AutoTrader_UK’s monthly️ #ElectricCarGiveaway & you can too! This month’s prize is a Ford Mustang Mach-E, worth over £42k! It’s free to enter & you have until 31st January. All information (including Ts&Cs) can be found here: https://t.co/FUC7Hlbjba

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

@jasondmarchant @EASPORTSFIFA You’re just pants at the game 🤣

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

@Reillycycles Super sad news. I worked in Marks Bike shop “Bexley Spoke” for a while, went on the occasional ride and often bumped into him at bike shows. Thoughts and prayers with you at this time

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

Get a test and get it fast coz if you don’t it’s the Chinese one that goes right up your arse #testingslogans @TheLastLeg

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

So once again my neighbours have visitors round. Ignoring COVID rules throughout Xmas and now we are pretty much in total lockdown they continue to have visitors round. It’s not a “bubble” and most others are doing their best #dartford

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

@hermesparcels where exactly is the delivery you state has been made to me? No one has knocked, left anything outside or even approached my property! Tracking number 153542986590

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

The positives of the lockdown for me:
Wildlife seems to be flourishing. As a simple guide, the number of birds around seems to have increased.
The negatives of the lockdown for me:
Said birds seem to be shitting all over my car and house windows with increased frequency

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

2nd weekend on the trot my selfish scum neighbours have had their ignorant son visiting with his family. She’s a care home nurse too. #thickaspigshit

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

#AskSkyNews Had symptoms for almost 12days. When can I come out of self isolation. Symptoms come and go but no advice what to do if you are recovering!

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

@agibby76 Apparently if you mix up dry pasta with UHT milk it forms a paste that you can use to bung up the hole, er, that is why everyone’s buying that stuff isn’t it?

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

@bikeradar I’m supposed to keep 2meters away from the missus, and despite my best exaggeration, I’m just not that big 🍆😜

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

You know Xmas is round the corner when #mrhankeythechristmaspoo arrives 💩

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

@jasondmarchant @NHS Bloody sickies how dare they get ill and not be well enough to treat the, er, ill 🤣😂 Stop taking ya germ infested body round the quacks and they might have a chance 😛😜

[Alex Cooper @CrustySprocket]

I was bored of Brexit and all the bollox being spewed out by politicians but this election seems to be a platform for who can tell the biggest lies. I’m waiting for “If elected we promise to deliver a free unicorn to every household”