Shy Pimp

I have a heart of gold -- and also, don't mess with me.

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

Fuck Russell Brand.

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

Agoraphobes and Toilet Paper Companies: I've been preparing my whole life for this shit.

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

@MatthewCoxITC Did social anxiety contribute to your criminal behavior? For example, did you just want to make a bunch of easy money so that you could buy an island somewhere and never have to interact with other people? Asking for a friend.

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

Shout out to dude at the hardware store who understood that, "Do you work here?" was code for, "I can tell you don't work here but will you help me anyway?"

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

That awkward moment when you realize that it's not just an angry hand slamming against a desk that can trigger your PTSD but also the smell of dry dog food or the sound of your own name. Or a momentary sense of peace. Lol.

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

You know, you can THINK that a woman is beautiful at a bus stop at midnight but maybe you don't have to SHOUT it at her.

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

Being poor makes everything take longer. If time is money, poor people have neither of either left over at the end of the day.

[yedoye @yedoye_]

Damn I can't stop thinking about how white people literally won't colonize Mars until they confirm that there's already stuff living up there

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

What to do when "should" stops working....

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

@tagaq You should definitely get paid for your work, but I just mean, do it for free for ME.

[Jenny Tallia @fififofun]

My name is “Gillette” because I’m the best a man can get.

Also I will cut you.

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

@Rontowski I miss you too!!!

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

When that one relative who still sends you birthday money is just sending laundry money.

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

@julieandstuff Will do

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

Had a dude scream and cuss at me over the phone because it took too long to find out if we had something in stock. Ended by saying that he couldn't check himself because he's, "not allowed in the store -- for no reason!!!"

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

@SICKOFWOLVES Burn it to the ground.

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

@JenAshleyWright @kibblesmith Michael Keaton

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

Also, have only had crack smoked next to me at bus stops at 1AM but that is less annoying. More troubling, less annoying.

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

I have only ever been hit on by drunk men either on a bus or at a bus stop. I don't get it. Is it the lighting? #busstophot

[Shy Pimp @CrystalCharee]

Just started to enter a contest and then stopped because I realized that if I won, I'd eventually have to interact with another human being. #functionalagoraphobic