A Curious Sea Lion

I'm a curious sea lion who is eager to engage you in civil conversation!

(Apologies to

[A Curious Sea Lion @CuriousSeaLion]

I may not agree with what you say, but I will *fight to the death* for your right to listen to me explain why you're wrong.

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

"So it's basically a large box you walk into on one floor... then moments later, boom, you walk out of it on a totally different floor!"

—elevator pitch

[A Curious Sea Lion @CuriousSeaLion]

My kind of woman! https://t.co/3FMaiBQOTB

[A Curious Sea Lion @CuriousSeaLion]

Woke up. Saw "orcas" trending. Went *right* back to sleep.

[A Curious Sea Lion @CuriousSeaLion]

Has anybody checked out this new Suicide Squid movie?

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

Referee: "Ain't no rule says a dog can't play basketball."

Air Bud: (barks enthusiastically!)

Referee: "However, there absolutely is a rule that says a werewolf can't play basketball.

Teen Wolf: "This is fucking bullshit."

[PrivateStockRecords @PvtStockRecs]

Live right now!!! https://t.co/aN0HRkF6q6

[A Curious Sea Lion @CuriousSeaLion]

I knew exactly what has going to happen in this video.

[A Curious Sea Lion @CuriousSeaLion]

@Astroblast65 @SarahSpain Sir, that majestic creature is clearly a sea lion.

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

"What if we make the team's mascot an anthropomorphic representation of the object everyone on the team is trying to smash with a stick? We could call it uh… Mr. Baseball Face?"

"Ooh, what if we call it Mr. Met?"

"Perfect."

[A Curious Sea Lion @CuriousSeaLion]

Narwhals are just porpoises with a superiority complex and that's #RealTalk

[A Curious Sea Lion @CuriousSeaLion]

@realJoshHazel @KayyPotato @texans4biden @BarbBerns @JohnCornyn @mjhegar @DanCrenshawTX @marceelias @JacksonLeeTX18 Then you've confirmed the accuracy of the conspiracy I described.

[A Curious Sea Lion @CuriousSeaLion]

@realJoshHazel @KayyPotato @texans4biden @BarbBerns @JohnCornyn @mjhegar @DanCrenshawTX @marceelias @JacksonLeeTX18 Here, I'll show you how it works. All squid are involved in an international pedophile conspiracy, therefore I am doing the world a service by eating them in large quantities.

Prove me wrong.

[A Curious Sea Lion @CuriousSeaLion]

@realJoshHazel @KayyPotato @texans4biden @BarbBerns @JohnCornyn @mjhegar @DanCrenshawTX @marceelias @JacksonLeeTX18 Ah, the classic "everything that doesn't confirm my opinion = misinformation" gambit. A quality tactic because it makes your position irrefutable. Bark on my dude!

[A Curious Sea Lion @CuriousSeaLion]

I refuse to debate anybody who hasn't done their research*.

*research = search youtube for videos that support the thing I just said.

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

The Cookiepuss movie was excellent. But when they tried to do a Fudgie the Whale crossover in the sequel... that's where I really lost interest in the Carvel Cinematic Universe.

[A Curious Sea Lion @CuriousSeaLion]

I keep tryin to tell ya'll, but you don't wanna hear it :(

[New York Post @nypost]

Orcas are 'ripping open' great white sharks for their livers, hearts and testicles https://t.co/XPLfZBtNEc

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

"Do re mi sol la ti do".

-antifa

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

"Read em' and weep, boys—full house, aces over kings."

"Nice hand, but I think I got you beat."

"Uh, Brian... those aren't even playing cards. One card says 'ask your body' and the other says 'gardening not architecture'. What does that even mean?"

—poker with Brian Eno

[A Curious Sea Lion @CuriousSeaLion]

In exchange for fresh calamari, I will promote your brand to my numerous social media followers.

A "squid pro quo", if you will.