Cynical.

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

Some people are normal. What an awful, boring existence that must be.

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

I met my perfect match on http://t.co/9dxUAofL7L

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

Pretty sure some of you dudes are on your period, too.

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

When my wife is sleeping I open her handbag, take out my balls, pat them & whisper "I know guys I miss you too" then put them back quietly.

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

I play hard to get used.

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

Humor is the best weapon to conquer your fears. Laugh at it.

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

Violence is for people who don't know how to crush egos.

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

Hey guys, women prefer the strong, silent type. So next time you go to the gym, try and shut the fuck up about it.

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

@almol_45 drugs

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

God guides us through life showing us drug filled paths.

[Fuck Likes @FuckLikes]

Society: Be yourself.

Society: No not like that

[DOPE. @WomenRelatable]

I'm a strong willed independent woman who sometimes gets outta control. But I love and give with all my heart. Don't abuse that privilege.

[Encouragement @EncouragingShit]

I don't regret burning my bridges. I regret that some people weren't on those bridges when I burnt them.

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

Sometimes following your heart means losing your mind...

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

Having a toddler is like being on full time suicide watch.

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

Sitting alone in my dark room and I can see two little eyes staring at me from the hallway...I think the cat is plotting my death.

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

One of the most courageous decisions you will ever make is to let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

Some people don't understand what they're doing wrong until the same actions are being done to them..

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

Dear phone battery makers. You obviously don't use Twitter.