Cyrus 🐙

Overly critical Cubs fan. Largest producer of earwax in North America. 25.

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

Everybody must think I smell real bad bc I do be farting all the time

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

I love when a store website has a lil quiz to help me look at their products.

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

@wyatttoday Because he's focusing more on vanity projects, wars and slush funds rather than making life actually affordable?

[DiggerCrave 🧡🪏 @CruiseCrave]

Coming up to three years of my favourite headline of all time

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

@CryptidPolitics

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

@carausius286 @JackKennedy "haha they used a clip from a European conflict, that's funny"

You: DID YOU KNOW AMERICAN CHILDREN ARE DYING FROM GUN VIOLENCE ALL THE TIME? ISNT THAT IRONIC?!?!?!?!?

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

@luvblessingz To justify the ban Trump would say something like "People think it's pronounced 'teef', but it's actually pronounced 'teeth' with a 'th', not everybody knows that. But from what I've been told the teeth start growing in your brain, and we can't have that.'

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

@hyyyyymmm now do one of the Chicago rat hole

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

@whatkamisays And he'd become straight too

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

How often do braille displays get cleaned, do you think?

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

@ubiquitousnewt People will see a child being an irrational dickhead and think "ah, if only the parent beat that child senselessly"

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

@Acyn Bros pouting bc he didn't get a free $2 bil from the taxpayers

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

@Ziem86 @Quick_Toad @tmo_melonmaster @Pirat_Nation Sorry I have a job, which means I don't have time for the weird incel forums that generate conspiracies about women making video games.

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

@BigBoris_2 dunk was so hard I almost liked a hate post

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

@digicarus she wasn't talking she was staring lol

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

@TaraBull Wow

Looks like shit

[oxyzen @oxyzen]

this is what happens when “everyone gets a puppy” finally beats “diarrhea forever”

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

@Ziem86 @Quick_Toad @tmo_melonmaster @Pirat_Nation The game isn't even out yet and you're assuming there's some kind of agenda

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

@NINEUP5 Does his poop replicate and become its own poop lifeform?

[saddy sachado @FriaR_15]

Reminder that Lou Gehrig played with ALS and hit .290+

Manny Machado is fully healthy and hitting .170

[Cyrus 🐙 @CyrusCyrus__]

@salutationhrry Obviously fuck this guy but I forgot how soul crushing it is to experience a "joke" completely bombing