Bones (parody)

❝Five years in space, god help me.❞ (#Fake Roleplay Account) #𝙠𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙨

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

❝𝐁𝐨𝐲, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭.❞

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

@STARSHlPCAPTAIN Typical. Love drunk tit.

"Collecting empty bottles of whiskey?"

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

Looks at the water as if it may jump outta the glass and bite him.

"Mmm, no I don't think so." Reaches back for the bottle. "I've gotta a few days of leave up my...short sleeves," he's currently wearing a simple black t-shirt. "I'm fine. Just thought about finishing this -

[Parody | 𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘛. 𝘒𝘪𝘳𝘬 @STARSHlPCAPTAIN]

He's casually sliding the bottle out of his friends reach, replacing it with a glass of water.

"I think you've had enough today, hm? Wanna tell me why you felt the need to drown yourself in booze?"

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

@STARSHlPCAPTAIN Giving the younger man an eye roll, he curled his fingers around the glass, downing half the water before leaning back in the chair.

A small snigger leaving his lips, his face giving away his amusement at the look Jim had on his own when he spoke about their first officer. -

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

@STARSHlPCAPTAIN the one where ya hit the little ball thing and the club...GOLF!"

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

@STARSHlPCAPTAIN Glancing from the water to his captain, he looked at the blue-eyed male as if to ask, 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟.ᐣ

"What, you think I should take up orchid growing like your pointy eared elf? Or perhaps...ah fuck, what's it called -

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

He's fully sitting at Jim's dining table, deep in a bottle of scotch.

He wouldn't be able to tell an ass from an elbow at the moment.

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

Gosh, thanks. Glad at least one person thinks so.

Come 'ere, gimme a smooch.

[Parody | 𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘛. 𝘒𝘪𝘳𝘬 @STARSHlPCAPTAIN]

Nah, you're too pretty. They will deny shore leave the moment they see you.

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

Just show them my face. Can't get much lower than that.

[Parody | 𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘛. 𝘒𝘪𝘳𝘬 @STARSHlPCAPTAIN]

Mhm. Might have to kiss some asses to get it through. I will think of something. Maybe make something up about low morale or something.

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

A pain in my arse is what they are.

*unhappy Bones grumbles*

Appreciate the effort, though, Jimbo.

[Parody | 𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘛. 𝘒𝘪𝘳𝘬 @STARSHlPCAPTAIN]

Just trying to distract you from your issue, Bones.

I'll ask if we're allowed a few days of shore leave but no promises. You know how they are with that.

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

Ya know that's not what I mean, ya lil prick...

*space is starting to drive him crazy*

[Parody | 𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘛. 𝘒𝘪𝘳𝘬 @STARSHlPCAPTAIN]

I'm sure you're allowed to touch grass in the botanical section of the ship. I can ask for you if you want?

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

Jim. Please. I need...the ground. Dirt. Fuckin' grass, man!

[Parody | 𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘛. 𝘒𝘪𝘳𝘬 @STARSHlPCAPTAIN]

Denied. You're stuck with me and the ship.

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

Can he quit yet?

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

Hey. No one touches my neck without buyin me a drink first.

[Parody | 𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘛. 𝘒𝘪𝘳𝘬 @STARSHlPCAPTAIN]

Just for that I will ask him to neck pinch you!

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

He knew it was against protocol, but he did it anyway, lightly thwacking the back of the blonds head with an open hand.

"You get your ass down to medbay by the end of the day, or I'll set yer own first officer on you." Head dipping in Spock's direction.

[Parody | 𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘛. 𝘒𝘪𝘳𝘬 @STARSHlPCAPTAIN]

His own smile vanished from his lips.

"What? Come on, Bones! Can't you just write that I am in perfect health? You know I don't have time for this stuff!" Not to mention that he hates being prodded and poked.

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

As if you could make that pointy-eared computer do anything.

[Parody | 𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘛. 𝘒𝘪𝘳𝘬 @STARSHlPCAPTAIN]

Keep that up and I will make Spock annoy the hell out of you.

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

His smirk only grew, a fraction of tension easing in his shoulders with an accompanying chuckle.

"Yeah, well, if they wanted coddling, they shoulda stayed home. And you," His head swinging towards Jim. "You are due for your annual physical."

[Parody | 𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘛. 𝘒𝘪𝘳𝘬 @STARSHlPCAPTAIN]

"Says the old grump."

An answering smirk. Ah, he loves the old grump.

"That explains why Scotty sounded so miserable yesterday. Well, I'm sure you have it all handled, with your gentle nature and all."

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

Shhh.

Just thinkin' outloud.

[Parody | 𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘛. 𝘒𝘪𝘳𝘬 @STARSHlPCAPTAIN]

Excuse you?

[Bones (parody) @DAMMIT_JlM]

Oh, that is 𝙨𝙤 not his problem right now...