Mx. Bean, BS🐝

Believe in the me that believes in you.

[Mx. Bean, BS🐝 @DM_a_DM]

Much rather wake up, eat a coffee cake, take bath, take nap.

[Mx. Bean, BS🐝 @DM_a_DM]

@MarcusCVance Kriss signals to me "this is set in a near-enough future you're lucky you aren't seeing an M4", P90 signals "this is the future, specific year is irrelevant"

[Mx. Bean, BS🐝 @DM_a_DM]

Your physical stats drop a bit but your mental stats have shored themselves up so anything you used to be able to Endurance through can now be Willed through

[alaska @145k4]

something you learn at 28 is that you can no longer "tank it". whatever youre trying to tank, its not like that any more

[pjeffa (🦧,🦧) @jeff82874662]

My dad texting me to warn me that Taco Bell poisoned a bunch of customers in New York State

My brother in Christ, the safest day to fly in the history of the world was September 12, 2001

[mother @procrastimegand]

The 3 loves of my life.

[Mx. Bean, BS🐝 @DM_a_DM]

@tomato63052209 @TNGormie @brando_esl @asubparusername Hellsing Abridged

[Kyle @tonyhawkbrosk8]

every day I clock in and it's good morning Kyle everything is broken. everything fucking exploded over night. Kyle the KDS system is too loud and I don't know how to use an iPad so I can't turn the volume down and the sounds are killing me. It's all up to you Kyle

[Mx. Bean, BS🐝 @DM_a_DM]

@turnintoabat In high school it got out that I was an atheist and a kid stood up and yelled at me across class "You think we came from rocks??"

[Mx. Bean, BS🐝 @DM_a_DM]

Poop so hard mother fuckers wanna find me

[「A Star Named Sun」 @AtlasPlus_]

I like to stand behind my girl like a shadow of evil while she pays for my coffee

[Mx. Bean, BS🐝 @DM_a_DM]

@idiot_lizard_ Wait what setting, I haven't gotten a twitter notification in like 8 months

[Mx. Bean, BS🐝 @DM_a_DM]

@SwiftOnSecurity If you spent all day at the egg salad sandwich factory being told "this batch needs to be stirred clockwise ONLY" and "we don't actually have the budget for a paddle, only a plastic spoon", coming home to just make a damn sandwich feels AMAZING

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

much like a grackle, I am both mental and physically in a walmart parking lot

[mother @procrastimegand]

“How many more minutes til baby brother comes out?”

[Mx. Bean, BS🐝 @DM_a_DM]

@kittycattyy420 I didn't know you could be allergic to corn?? Or that it could develop later in life??? I now have a new fear??????

[Mx. Bean, BS🐝 @DM_a_DM]

call my dick Michael the way I Beat It

[Mx. Bean, BS🐝 @DM_a_DM]

Everyone says "GUI" as "gooey", but are you brave enough to say "CLI" as "clee"?

[Mx. Bean, BS🐝 @DM_a_DM]

If we were a real country our 250th would mean that all 12 packs include a free bonus can so that I can drink in honor of each of the original 13 colonies

[Mx. Bean, BS🐝 @DM_a_DM]

Last night I had a dream a Hat Man came through the bedroom door and went to bite my foot, so I went to bite him back (arms not working) right as I woke up, but I wasn't able to animation cancel during the transition and almost bit my wife

[Mx. Bean, BS🐝 @DM_a_DM]

@procrastimegand My boy going Melon Mode