Dr. Manticore, MD

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

I THINK OF THE HIPPOCRATIC OATH AS MORE OF A LOOSE GUIDELINE, JUST LIKE THE LAW AND 'MORALITY'.

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

I'VE DECIDED TO EAT A MORE ETHICAL DIET. ONLY HUNTING LOCAL, ORGANICALLY FED VEGANS FROM NOW ON.

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

I LIKE MY WOMEN LIKE I LIKE MY COFFEE: FRESHLY GROUND UP AND STUFFED IN THE CABINET.

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

I THINK I WAS FIRST INSPIRED TO BE A DOCTOR WHEN I LEARNED THEY HAD ACCESS TO DANGEROUS DRUGS AND DEAD BODIES

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

@LeraStubler8495 ARE YOU SAYING I'M FAT? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I WATCH WHAT I EAT. SKINNY PEOPLE ONLY.

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

LOL I HAD TO TAKE BLOOD FROM THIS ONE GUY AND HE PASSED OUT. ACTUALLY HE DIED. WHAT A WEENIE.

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

SURGERY IS LIKE COOKING: EVEN IF YOU SCREW UP A LITTLE, YOU CAN STILL USUALLY EAT YOUR MISTAKES!

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

SPEAKING OF COOKING SHOWS, MAJOR LOVE @ HANNIBAL. IT'S A LITTLE DRAMATIC, BUT I'M GLAD NBC IS BRANCHING OUT INTO THE CULINARY FIELD.

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

NOTHING LIKE RELAXING AT HOME WITH A GLASS OF WINE AND A CALMING MOVIE. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE ALWAYS MAKES ME HUNGRY, THOUGH.

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

LOL@ THE NURSE WHO JUST RAN SCREAMING. HAHA LIKE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ME SOAKED IN BLOODY INTESTINES B4. NOW HELP ME GET THIS BODY IN A DUMPSTER

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

RIP MY SHORT LIVED LASER SURGERY CAREER. COULDN'T STOP CHASING THOSE ELUSIVE POINTS OF LIGHT. PATIENT FATALITIES HIGH. #CatProblems #LOL

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'MALPRACTICE'. THAT PATIENT WAS IN FOR WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY AND HIS LEG WEIGHED, LIKE, 40 POUNDS. EASY SOLUTION.

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

FUN PRANK: WAIT UNTIL NIGHT SHIFT AT THE MORGUE, SNEAK IN, AND EMIT A BLOODCURDLING PREDATOR HUNTING SHRIEK! YOUR COLLEAGUES WILL LOVE IT.

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

THESE PARENTS ARE ALL "OH GOD, YOU MONSTER!" JUST BECAUSE I HAD LUNCH IN THE PEDIATRICS WING. NAMES CAN BE HURTFUL, PEOPLE.

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

@skincakes HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THE POSSIBILITY THAT YOUR CONDITION MAY BE RELATED TO OTHER MEAT-BASED DISK OBJECTS, SUCH AS HAMBURGERS?

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

@skincakes YES! THAT IS A VERY COMMON SYMPTOM WITH PATIENTS WHO HAVE COME INTO CONTACT WITH MOVING VEHICLES AND/OR STEAMROLLERS.

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

MIGHT HAVE ACCIDENTALLY EATEN A PATIENT'S TRANSPLANT HEART DURING SURGERY #CarnivoreProblems #TheOtherMeaningOfHumanitarian

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

@FortArmordillo YES. A SIMPLE PROCEDURE INVOLVING MY TEETH AND A VARIETY OF CONDIMENTS! I WILL SCHEDULE YOUR APPOINTMENT DURING LUNCH HOUR.

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

DISCLAIMER: 'MD' IN MY RÉSUMÉ DOES NOT STAND FOR 'MEDICAL DOCTOR'. IT STANDS FOR 'MANTICORE DOCTOR'. I AM NOT A LICENSED PHYSICIAN.

[Dr. Manticore, MD @DRMANTICORE]

I AM, HOWEVER, AN EXPERT AT REMOVING VITAL ORGANS! A 100% SUCCESS RATE WITH EXTRACTIONS. STILL WORKING ON PATIENT MORTALITY STATISTICS.