DaAngryBarista

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

Adorable little girl : Excuse me sir you know you wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies!
Me: Oh I’m really sorry I have no cash!
Girl: Oh there’s an ATM over there!
Me: You little shit…

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

Customer pulling up to window: “Mmmmmm it smells so great in there!”

Me: “Stop sniffing me.”

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

Walked into this scene last night and can only assume the Target Starbucks closed an hour earlier than the rest of the store and a pissed customer tried to take it out on the red balls....

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

-Complaining to me about the price
-Saying hello at the box before I’m ready
-Saying you’re in a hurry

The 3 easiest ways to gain residency in Decafsburg, USA

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

If your children yell at any point during your order you will be automatically decaffed for indecent spawning

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

The real menace to society is sweet cream cold foam and how it’s made easy iced drinks into a fucking chore

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

Customer: “Hey you think you can put a rush on it, I have a lot to do”

Me: “Ok!!!”

*DECAFFED*

Customer: “Thanks this will really help with my day!!”

Oh, I’m sure

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

Me: Listen your ratchet bank card isn’t going through, while you confirm your broke ass account can you move forward, you’re holding up people in line that actually have their shit together

Me for real: Sorry, your card was declined

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

I’m playing this today

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

No lie detected

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

Fuck off, you have more than enough extra caramel

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

Welp that was the worst super bowl I’ve ever seen, I could have been at work hating more people

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

Complaining about the price of your coffee is a good way for me to decaf you, now you a broke AND sleepy bitch

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

In my defense, the customer asked 1000 times when are we opening the lobby, all I did was politely tell her I would go seek Covid-19’s lair after work and politely ask it when

Manager:....Just sign your write-up

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

I remember when you only had a choice between regular or soy milk, now they can barely make fridges big enough to carry all this bullshit all you fucks demand that we offer

Child:......Cool, so do you have oat milk?

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

Drive thru vibes

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

Customer Voice: We’ve made the ground-breaking discovery that whipped cream has a lot of calories and complained about it, now the recipe is different and it tastes like shit

Corporate:

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

Customer: can I have that panini warmed up?

Me: oh you mean you didn’t want it as an ice cold brick? Thanks for clearing that up. And your latte? Do you want it inside a cup? Do you want your loaf in a bag or shoved down your dumb fucking hole?

Me for real: Absolutely 😃

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

Customer: “can you recommend me something healthy?”

Me: “staying home”

[DaAngryBarista @DaAngryBarista]

Customer: Are your pastries fresh from today?

Me: Yep just defrosted them!