Kristin

Forever a lost boy with bony knees

[i2cjak @i2cjak]

idea: toothpaste that doesn’t turn red while you’re brushing

[Marie🧚 @glitchu__]

How it feels to type in ur email and password with a remote

[soup🌱 @thrluv]

to stay in a calorie deficit you really just have to go to bed 😭

[Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse]

日本の友よ、この異邦の悪魔に、自らの流儀を明かしてはならぬ。この獣は、ただお前たちの生活様式を乱すことのみを求め、行く手にあるすべてを破壊し尽くすのだから。

[bells @popecodyautism]

between the nothingburger and the everything bagel there’s the somewhat sandwich

[Truthstream Media @truthstreamnews]

“We stole all your knowledge and art, and now we’re gonna put a meter on it and sell it back to you. You’re welcome.”

[beanie @beaniebbl]

in america they employ rodents as meteorologists

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

Aliens (completely bewildered): so the groundhog

Me: is clairvoyant, yes

[kiwi @snoopyschimera]

watched the only actor who matters entire filmography

[Scorigami @NFL_Scorigami]

GB 40 - DAL 40
Final

That's Scorigami!! It's the 1093rd unique final score in NFL History.

[Kristin @DaBears199]

Okay but what kind of Prussian am I?

[Kristin @DaBears199]

I just feel like a Mountain Dew Baja Blast Midnight would really solve all of my problems right now

[🌱 stick 🌱 @briggityboppity]

my husband is looking at jobs and this one through a hiring firm is "withholding the name of the company" for some reason but wants someone familiar with "chocolate technology" who is willing to move to Hershey, PA lmao

[crybaby @bunnygirl1373]

my plans for this week

[Whitney @witlegit]

Saw this, now I can never throw a fabric scrap away ever again.

[Kristin @DaBears199]

When you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

Imagining her angrily packing all her clothes in a thimble and hitting the road

[Cade Onder @Cade_Onder]

real movie heads know how long the trailers run for at their local theater

this is a law for the weak

[U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service @USFWS]

"a well respected meteorologist"

[The Right Answer @theright_answer]

Good morning to everyone that knows Punxsutawney Phil is a sellout shill paid by Big Winter.