bing bong sing song

professional plant bitch™️

[bing bong sing song @Dadadumbass]

Thread of videos of Max that make me laugh really hard:

[bing bong sing song @Dadadumbass]

I’m really sexy and really good at my job

[Jaketropolis @jaketropolis]

Driver's Ed instructor, pinching his temples: "Okay, stop the car. Do you know what you did wrong?"

Student: "I hit the g-"

Instructor: "You hit the giant morningstar. That's an automatic fail."

[bing bong sing song @Dadadumbass]

:((( the moon why:(((

[ppigg @s4m31p4n]

Your honor it’s Gemini season

[will @wills_account]

please be patient this is my first rodeo

[clintoris @clintoris]

“iT’s NoT tHaT dEeP” yeah that’s why I put it on fuckin twitter and didn’t write a goddamn jezebel article about it you weird bitch

[bing bong sing song @Dadadumbass]

I’m not getting married unless I find someone who loves me as much as I love Taco Bell

[Haus of Decline @hausofdecline]

The Right: You are pedophiles
The Left: No, you are pedophiles
Pedophiles: Can't wait for the next season of Big Mouth

[phage @clubmoss_]

First date idea: I throw your keys off a cliff

[bing bong sing song @Dadadumbass]

Girls are evil don’t trust them me included

[pavlo @LaughterHaver]

No way she wasn’t coked out of her mind for this

[bing bong sing song @Dadadumbass]

“I had two bud lights and then loved the feeling of leggings”

[Buns 🥰 @bonabun_]

You know I found out that most men ACTUALLY don’t ask the “will you be my girlfriend” they just start calling you their girlfriend 😭

[pj @pjayevans]

Just found these in my water

[GL @gldivittorio]

This tweet altered the course of fourth wave feminism