Dadology

The subtle art of winging fatherhood | Scared I might get dribbled on

[Dadology @Dadology_]

I'm not saying I'm the best father, but I'm the only one my kids have.

[Dadology @Dadology_]

Forget the toddler tantrums and cooking multiple meals. The real pain is having to constantly look for the tv remote.

[Dad Info @dad_info]

In a guest post for Dad Info, @Dadology_ writes about how he encouraged his toddler to learn to walk: https://t.co/SOEVTTV8xu #dads #parents #toddlers #parenting

[Dadology @Dadology_]

Me: *Drops dummy just before giving it to baby but catches it*

Also Me: My reflexes are incredible

*Drops expensive glassware after slipping on some dust*

[Dadology @Dadology_]

Wife: Don‘t change his nappy on the bed…

Me: Don’t worry I’ve got this

Wife: Don’t do it…

Me: Ok, so we may need a new mattress…

[Dadology @Dadology_]

Me: *Takes a picture of my baby*

Wife: OMG that picture is so cute

Also Wife: *Fills storage with another 9177 pictures*

[Dadology @Dadology_]

*Baby on floor playing*

Me: *Gets on floor to play*

*Baby crawls off into another room*

Me: Erm, can anyone help me get up?

[Dadology @Dadology_]

*Baby pulls themselves up on you*

Me: That is so cute

*Baby grabs leg hair*

Me: Motherfu*ker

[Dadology @Dadology_]

Me: Say Dada

Wife: Say Muma

Baby: Dadada

Me to my wife: Ha! Looooser

[Dadology @Dadology_]

*Baby farts*

Wife: That is so cute and funny

*You let one rip 5 minutes later*

Wife: You're a vile human

[Dadology @Dadology_]

Me: The world doesn't revolve around you

*Child goes to bed*

Also Me: *Stares at sleep camera for the next 3 hours*

[Dadology @Dadology_]

Me: *Being a great Dad keeping my kids safe and respectful*

Also me: *shoves knife in toaster cursing a slice of bread*

[Dadology @Dadology_]

Me: My kids are going to eat super healthy

*6 months later*

Me: What do you mean you’re sick of cake for breakfast?

[Dadology @Dadology_]

*Baby snores*

Wife: Omg how cute is our baby

*You snoring your head off 5 minutes later*

Wife: Can you fu*king not

[Dadology @Dadology_]

Me: *Drops dummy just before giving it to baby but catches it*

Also Me: My reflexes are incredible

*Drops expensive glassware after slipping on some dust*

[Dadology @Dadology_]

*Wife goes through a 3 day labour without sleeping and brings our baby into this world*

*Baby has restless first night at home*

Me: If I don't get any sleep I'm going to have a breakdown

[Dadology @Dadology_]

Wife: Don‘t change his nappy on the bed…

Me: Don’t worry I’ve got this

Wife: Don’t do it…

Me: Ok, so we may need a new mattress…

[Dadology @Dadology_]

Me: *Takes a picture of my baby*

Wife: OMG that picture is so cute

Also Wife: *Fills storage with another 9177 pictures*

[Dadology @Dadology_]

*Baby on floor playing*

Me: *Gets on floor to play*

*Baby crawls off into another room*

Me: Erm, can anyone help me get up?

[Dadology @Dadology_]

*Baby pulls themselves up on you*

Me: That is so cute

*Baby grabs leg hair*

Me: Motherfu*ker