Dad's Lunchbox Notes

Making lunch more fun. Father of three.

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

Fun Fact: Every kid over the age of 5 will say the words, “I need a white elephant gift for tomorrow!” at some point this week.

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

If you died suddenly and I knew about a haunted pet cemetery that brought people back to life I would totally bury you there!

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

I’m sorry you have a fever of 102 today, but thanks for getting me out of all my meetings!

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

The keyless ignition on our new van is cool, but now what am I supposed to do when the inside of my ear itches?!

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

Ok, no more making your own lunch.

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

#DST is this Saturday! You know what that means?! You have to do an hour of back flips in order to help the farmers. I’ll wake you up at 2am!

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

I’m glad you got an A on your history test. I told you watching Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure would be worth it!

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

I’m glad you won sophomore homecoming princess, but please stop calling your family members peasants.

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

Clicking “I have read and agree with the terms of service” feels like less of a lie than signing my child’s homework claiming that I’ve proofread it.

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

Haha! Same! Except I’m a Dad and I just do it to annoy my kids! https://t.co/UO2gAQEyue

[Stuff of Wife @2adults4kids]

You know you're a mom who has school lunch PTSD when you keep referring to the new kids movie as Uncrustables rather than Incredibles.

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

Behave at school today or tomorrow your PB&J will be made with end pieces of bread. #ButtBread

[Stuff of Wife @2adults4kids]

What kind of horrible parent hopes for rain so tonight's sports are cancelled???
This one.

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

Your mom and I are talking about riding motorcycles to Mexico when you guys all go away to college, which sounds pretty cool. So if you wanted to try and skip a few grades I would support you!

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

For years I’ve been cutting off your crusts, chopping it up, mixing it with PB and making your sandwiches with it! YOU’VE BEEN EATING THE CRUST THE WHOLE TIME!!

Hahahahaha

Love Dad

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

Confession... there isn’t really a new musical titled “The 80’s”. But it was the only way I could get you to let me listen to the classic rock station.

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

If the other kids start bragging about their dads you can tell them... “One time, my dad didn’t eat any after dinner snacks all evening!”

True story!

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

A math test without using a calculator makes me think your math teacher is some sort of crazy doomsday prepper.

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

Hey Dad will you buy me this music off iTunes?
No!
It’s Christmas music.
Ok.

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

I’m not sure what book you’re reading, but it doesn’t sound appropriate for 3rd grade!

[Dad's Lunchbox Notes @DadsNotes]

I know you’ve been practicing, but I’m not sure that singing Weezer’s “We Are All on Drugs” is right for the Red Ribbon Week talent show.