Daily Comedian!

Making you laugh with tweets and pictures, all day err' day!

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True that.

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http://t.co/ymC13xF3 True.

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I'm gonna CRUMB.

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not a virgin..?

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lil wayne

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Back up!

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Tweet me jokes I'll RT.

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Anyone notice in the intro song on phinaes & ferb it says "There's 104 days of summer vacation" WTF!

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Dear inventors of Tampons, How awkward was it for you to explain your invention to everyone?

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H.O.E.S = Happily offering everybody sex.

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I forgot Rihanna's ex-boyfriend's name...Then it hit me...

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I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me.....Wait.....

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These animal crackers are bullshit, this elephant tastes exactly like the giraffe did.

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Dear Jesus, I can afford wine. How about you start turning water into gas?

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Now what???

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I refuse to go bungee jumping, I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one.

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I wonder if the clothes in China say, 'Made around the corner.'

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Fucking windows!

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I don't have a dirty mind. I have a sexy imagination.

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Whoever said nothing is impossible...Never tried to staple water to a tree.