Dame Crusty Gusset

International critic and glamourpuss, living in Crusty Hall with one's faithful houseboy, Chu Me, one's pussy, Crotchet & one's trusty steed, Dribble.

[Tony Maudsley @TonyMaudsley1]

If selling your phone, beware of https://t.co/TkBFs60jmw They'll offer a very attractive price and then not pay it, claiming the phone is not in pristine condition. My phone WAS. Not a mark on it. Looked like new! Offer price £351..actual price paid £221. Absolute swindlers 😡

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

@DerrenLitten You're a Versuvian eruption of joy and laughter, cocooned in an epidermal layer of pure and utter fabulousness, you gorgeous thing and far outshine 'em all 🥰x x x #AllTheNegsCanSniffMyKeggs

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

@Keza12345 Good morning, you delicious morsel!!! One is quite splendid, thank you. One prays you are well and operating at optimal gorgeousness? Mmmwah mmmwah x x x

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

#Eurovisión2026 #Malta This poppet wrote 35 songs and whittled them down to Bella.

One would start scuttling through the bin and have a rethink about the other 34 , dear x x x

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

It seems a while since once popped in but when one's seething with rage, one fancies it's a must ... Poppets, pray avoid @nfum for any of your needs! x x x

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

@vonderleyen Goodness! It's like watching SPECTRE with pretty flags and Insette hairspray. x x x

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

@afneil 👏👏👏👏🤣🤣🤣 x x x

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

Dear @Morrisons,

This is utterly outrageous and you are a disgrace. If this is your attitude to your staff, one'll never step inside one of your stores again!

Regards,
Dame Crusty x x x

[Good Morning Britain @GMB]

A Morrisons store manager says his life has been completely 'devastated' after he was sacked for confronting a repeated shoplifter. 

Sean Egan - who had worked in the Aldridge Morrisons in the West Midlands for 29 years - was escorting the shoplifter out of the store when the thief turned aggressive.

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

@Glinner Goodness! He's certainly appears to be wearing an appropriate hat! x x x

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

@JohnCleese Judging by that video clip of little Rory, it appears he's just woken up by the bins! x x x

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

@zarahsultana @oldstinkyone Wind your neck in, dear x x x #muchobliged

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

@afneil 🤔Something is afoot, one fancies! x x x #AndIKnowMyOnions

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

@DerrenLitten *squeal* How thoroughly delicious to feel your joyous oscillating through the twitter verse, you gorgeous thing!!! (Although, should that be the Xverse?) X x x #SoundsMoreLikeAnAthletesSportsPump

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

@JakeWSimons If they're paying for dinner, I'm in! X x x #ImATraditionalTypeOGal

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

@Ed_Miliband 🤔 What happened to not tolerating people taking advantage of the situation, dear? X x x

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

@drdavidbull They're the work of the Devil, you gorgeous thing x x x

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

@RoworthJack Good Lord! Can that woman not do something with her hair?! X x x #OnePresumesTheHedgeCameOutBetterOff

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

@DerrenLitten If one's Premium Bonds come up trumps next week, poppet, I'll be in touch 😘 x x x

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

Thank goodness, you've started warning us before you post a tweet, dear! X x x #phew #muchobliged

[ALASTAIR CAMPBELL @campbellclaret]

Prick alert

[Dame Crusty Gusset @DameCrusty]

@ZackPolanski Goodness! One can hear the doors being nailed shut and curtains swishing closed from the North East riviera, dear! x x x