Daniel Allen

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

[Daniel Allen @DanDAAllen]

I'm adding "Likes to live life dangerously" to my tinder now that playing sports and bouncing on a trampoline as a kid are the criteria

[Sarah-Jane Murphy @sjanemurf]

The state of this.
I’d like to propose a motion of NO CONFIDENCE

[dhwani @dhwanisaraiya_]

there are sentences being said that have never been said before

[Brandon Herrera @TheAKGuy]

Well. Pizza tracker nailed that one.

[Chris Chats Shirt @ChatShirt]

@roykeanereviews Do you know what? What I might do is I might disagree with the 11 other jurors and say the boys guilty, just to make me feel better!

[Roy Keane's Film Reviews @roykeanereviews]

“You can have as many angry men as you want and sometimes the 12th can get you over the line. But you're there to do a job,arguing about this and that or whatever and nobody is taking charge.  Yes the conditions aren't great but you can't lose your cool like that, embarrassing.”

[Moneyball Memes 💰⚾️ @MoneyballMemes]

Billy, this is Luka Doncic. He is a top 5 player in the NBA and can be an all time great. His defect is that he gets a little chunky sometimes. This guy should cost us our entire roster and 10 firsts, but we can get him for just Anthony Davis.

[DrewShamir. @DrewShamir_]

Mike forgot he was talkin to a kid 😂

[Daniel Allen @DanDAAllen]

Lidl by Lidl

[Oasis Mania @OasisMania]

Liam Gallagher x Berghaus, 2024

[Daniel Allen @DanDAAllen]

We might not have Oasis tickets, but maybe we can recreate them, in the aggregate

[Billy @_billyreid]

Capri-sun without the pouch and the straw you poke through

[Ambivalenter to Tuchelball🇧🇷 @CadWMC]

If I don't get Oasis tickets, i'm going to spend the next 12 months tweeting both brothers a list of every bad thing they've said about eachother to encourage another fall out.

If I Don't get to see it, no one else gets to see it either.

[Daniel Allen @DanDAAllen]

@honthevalley

[Daniel Allen @DanDAAllen]

Another banger by Kneecap

[RTÉ @rte]

✨🎵 “I searched for my spark and I found it” ✨🎵

Cruinniú na nÓg, Europe’s only national free day of creativity for young people is back, with over 1,000 free activities, taking place on Saturday, June 15. 🎉

#CruinniuNaNog - an initiative of @creativeirl, supported by @rte

[dan @growupdan]

Glad Ramadan is over, fed up of Muslims randomly pushing in to me

[Sean Becker @Sean_Becker]

[consoling a friend after a breakup]

HIM: I won’t find anyone as good as her

ME (just finished watching Moneyball): we’ll recreate her in the aggregate

[sarah @sahouraxo]

BREAKING: Israel has now killed 15,370 Palestinian children in Gaza, in just 180 days.

That’s 85 children killed per day, every single day, for 6 months straight.

Read that again.

[pete rogers, professional diaper changer @petemrogers]

“sir there’s a second wembanyama”

[Skelmersdale United FC @Skemutdofficial]

📢 Club Statement 📢

Regarding Pascal Chimbonda and his 5 match stadium ban

#WeAreSkem
#Skembonda
🔵⚪️

[spochadóir @spochadoir]

Honestly can't believe that the Boys are Back in Town by Thin Lizzy isn't a more widely accepted Christmas song. All the boys??? Back in town??? At the same time?? What could the boys possibly be back in town for?? Easter?? Fuck off. It's christmas fellas.