A husband who left home to play golf at 8:30 a.m. doesnโt return until 6:00 p.m. He knows heโs about to face the wrath of his wife.
As he opens the door, his obviously miffed wife says, โWhere have you been? You said youโd be done with golf by 1:00 p.m. and home hours ago!โ
The red-faced man stammers, โIโm really sorry, honey. I can tell you why Iโm so late, but youโre only going to be even more angry with me.โ
Now completely frosted, the wife says, โI want the truth, and I want it NOW!โ
The husband says, โOkay, fine. We finished in just over four hours, then decided to get a beer in the clubhouse. I hopped in the car and would have been here by 1:00 p.m., but on the way home I spotted a pretty young woman struggling with a flat tire. I stopped and changed it for her. As I was wrapping up, she offered me money. Of course I said no, but she insisted on buying me a drink at the bar up the road. She was so nice that I agreed. Before long, one drink turned into three. She was quite beautiful, and when she suggested we go have a quickie at the no-tell motel next to the bar, I couldnโt resist. We got into a room, clothes started flying, and we had wild monkey love in every position imaginable. It must have gone on for a couple of hours, because when I looked up, the clock said 5:30 p.m. So I quickly dressed, jumped in the car, sped home, and here I am. You wanted the truth. There it is.โ
The pissed-off wife, now realizing sheโs married a complete imbecile, says, โBullshit! You played 36 holes, didnโt you!โ
Glen Campbell - Wichita Lineman
"And I need you more than I want you."
C'mon, nobody writes like that anymore... That line slays me every time. Absolutely gorgeous songwriting.
Just home from work, golf switched on straight away, and the dream team are on commentary @ewenmurray77@lauradaviesgolf and @Harmonbutch , great commentary as always folks, thank you ๐
โฉ Next up: In our penultimate home game of the season, We entertain @Harrogate at Windsor Park.
๐ @NCEL
๐๏ธ Saturday 4th April 2026
โฐ 3pm Kick-Off
๐ Windsor Park, Godnow Road, Crowle, Scunthorpe, North Lincs DN17 4EE
๐๏ธ Adults: ยฃ5, Concessions: ยฃ3, U16โs are free. NO DOGS allowed, accept guide dogs.
๐๏ธ Covered standing: 50, open standing 500 and covered seating: 50.
โ๏ธ Match-day catering available.
โน๏ธ Traveling supporters can find ground information here ๐ https://t.co/UJ5cMiNm0j
๐๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐จ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐๏ธ
Robbie Pender provides an important update in relation to Windsor Park.
โI am delighted to announce that Windsor Park, the home of Crowle Colts FC, has today officially being accredited by the FA as a Grade 6 stadium.
Crowle Colts FC achieving FA Step 6 Ground Grading is a fantastic milestone and one thatโs been earned through real dedication and hard work.
To go from an open field to this standard in just a few years is nothing short of remarkable.
A huge thank you to everyone who made it possible, the volunteers, sponsors, councils, grant facilitators and the CEPFA. Your commitment has created something truly special.
This is more than just a ground, itโs a facility that will benefit the club and the wider community for generations to come.
Onwards and upwards!โ โฝ๐
Robbie Pender - Crowle Colts FC Chairman ๐ดโช๏ธ๐ช๐ป
@ewenmurray77 Ewen your voice is legendary in golf commentary, will continue to enjoy listening to you at the majors , hopefully more time for you to do all the things you love , including playing our beautiful game. All the best to you ๐๐
๐น ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ผ๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ: Levi Johnson gets Crowle Colts Aโs only goal of the game as they drew 1-1 with Evo FC in midweek. Thanks to Gareth as always for the video and photos ๐๐ผ @CentralMidsAll
Missing 15 years old
Hello everyone
Pls Letโs support this dad
His 15 years old daughter is missing pls repost , share and look out for her
I pray she will be found safely in Jesus name Amen