Michael Darling

Yes, Darlingites, you found me! CELEBRITY advice columnist Michael Darling. Check out Dear Darling at the Kensington Chronicle! Also, fledgling inventor.

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

Love means never having to say you're sorry for being you! Remember, you guys: you being you is actually why we love you!

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@TheJollyRogerSS NIGHT!

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@Amber_Poppins @RealLilyBagha Night, @Amber_Poppins! We will!

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@BookNerd_Tweets @Amber_Poppins @RealLilyBagha Aww, Anna! LOVE YOU!

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@TheJollyRogerSS Don't worry, I don't plan on making a habit of it! 😉

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@RealLilyBagha @AgentTacos Yeah, I actually said that last night! I was literally like, "Lily is going to be so bummed she missed this!" We'll make it happen again!

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

(Thank you for that, @AgentTacos. It was truly awesome!)

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

Well, everyone, I'm usually the last to leave a party, but I'm worn out from driving a forklift all last night at the bachelor party!

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@heavenlyimagine @RealLilyBagha I'm the king of the world! 👑

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@RealLilyBagha @neverlandslayer @MorganSkylights @TheJollyRogerSS Yeah, who needs the Bahamas when you've got love...and the Neverland Community Pool?

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@RealLilyBagha @TheJollyRogerSS Let's do it after the party - I think we have some bottles to take care of right now! *grabs a bottle of champagne off the bar* SHOTS!!!

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@TheJollyRogerSS Hey guys! Loved the show!!!! It was sort of like reality TV but with more awkward pauses!

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@Elyislost @AgentTacos @WesPars You okay there, buddy?

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@Elyislost @AgentTacos @WesPars *guns engine* *forklift drives slowly forward* Heh, this thing must have a top speed.

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@AgentTacos @Elyislost @WesPars *revs engine*

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@AgentTacos @WesPars @Elyislost If only we could rig these things to shoot turtle shells.

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@AgentTacos @WesPars @Elyislost This is pretty awesome!!

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@AgentTacos @WesPars @Elyislost I'm naming mine "Binary Loadlifter." It's similar to moisture vaporators in most respects.

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@Elyislost @AgentTacos @WesPars Lily's gonna be bummed she missed this!

[Michael Darling @DangerTeddy]

@AgentTacos @Elyislost @WesPars *Climbs into forklift* Guys, I'm Ripley!
Also, check this out...
*throws it into reverse* *slowly backs up* *warning beep sounds*