Dani Gordon

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

Held the door open for the lady behind me and she told me I’m going to “change the world one person at a time” and that’s the kind of hype I’m looking for in 2018.

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

My mom has her priorities straight. @BarstoolBigCat

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

Spent my #valentinesday night cleaning up candlewax from carpet for a completely unsexual reason. I’m v v alone and now my fingers smell like yankee candle.

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

Never have I identified more with an instagram account as I do with 12catslady and her video of her “Catio”

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

#AIMemories RIP “ boimagnet926 “ you will be missed

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

Current mood: watching shirtless Bieber decorate a Christmas tree on repeat #giftthatkeepsongiving #belieberandunashamed

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

#Thirst level: currently having my doorman be my wingman in pursuit of a cute neighbor. #desperateorgenius #desperate

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

Current aesthetic: eating a bag of cool ranch Doritos to discourage people from standing too close to me. #idfwu

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

#truelife : I always reveal embarrassingly personal details to hotties in elevators. #whyamilikethis #butreally #letmetellyouwhyihavehives

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

Newly converted stoolie compliments a hot guy in a @barstoolsports sweatshirt and never sees him again. A short story.

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

Just told a pretty girl to “take her body over there” instead of “walk that way” #whyamilikethis

[Big Cat @BarstoolBigCat]

Thanks for coming out, Purdue

[Andrea Adelson @aadelsonESPN]

Every female sports reporter has encountered a neanderthal like Cam Newton over the course of her career. They go low. We go high.

[Charlene deGuzman @charstarlene]

U ever about to go so hard on some food you need a hair tie

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

Girl just got on the escalator with rollerblades on. #notallheroeswearcapes

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

Me: not a country fan, sorry...
*Kesha sings country* Me: oh hell yeah I listen to Dolly Parton and shit.

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

@PauldeGelder Such a bummer. I make really good shark-week themed snacks. Thanks for making #SharkWeek even better.

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

Is @PauldeGelder married? Does he ever come to Chicago? I know a girl with a place he could stay at #theresnosharksbutimprettygreat

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

When I grow up I want my job title to be "local shark wrangler" #sharkweekiscoming

[Dani Gordon @DaniG926]

Omg @TheDannyBarry is famous