DdR

Avenge my death!

[DdR @DanielDeRoiste]

Brilliant, understated and reserved, loved it!

[Cornelius @ComedianConn]

The speech...
#GAA

[DdR @DanielDeRoiste]

@AkaPaulHoward We won’t miss Jane from 43 (of all places)!

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

It will be at least 40 years before our loved and lovely America recovers from the wounds this selfish, stupid, and ego-driven man has inflicted. That it will recover seems certain to me, but it will leave scars.

[internet archiva @internetarchiva]

The man in the blue shirt simply knew exactly what was about to happen and did a great job

[DdR @DanielDeRoiste]

@EndaEndamac95 Being pedantic is your thing, embrace it.
People still use Czechoslovakia today, it drives me mad - Canice’s Here I Come.

[smv @slimvnsn]

Grandma and Grandpa came to visit, and within 1 hour my 3-year-old had them both employed at his restaurant against their will.

The place reopened the second their car hit the driveway. New hat, new energy. Grandpa, who is 71 and fought in no war but talks like he did, was handed a crayon and told he was now "the waiter." Grandma was put to work in the kitchen, which insulted her, because she has been cooking for this family for 50 years and now reports to a 3-year-old. She accepted it with grace. The pay is hugs.

The menu, you'll remember, is air soup and a single Cheerio called the special. Grandpa took my order wrong on purpose, just to see the kid's face. My son corrected him like a man who has fired people. Grandpa apologized to him. To a toddler. In his own son's house. Then winked at me when the boy wasn't looking, the same wink he used on me at that age, the one that says watch this.

Grandma "cooked." She stood at the toy stove stirring an empty pot while my son supervised, arms crossed, telling her she was doing it wrong. This woman has cooked jollof for 200 people at a wedding. She let him think he was teaching her. She said oh, like that? and he said yes, finally, and fixed her grip on a spoon that wasn't holding anything.

Then the chef, my son, climbed onto Grandpa's lap to "take a break from work," and Grandpa just held him, didn't say a word, this big loud man going completely soft around a small one.

Grandma watched them. Then she looked at me and said, your father never held you like that. Too busy. Too proud. Took him 40 years and a grandchild to learn how.

She didn't say it mean. She said it like a woman who waited a long time to see it and finally did.

Grandpa caught us talking. Asked what. Same thing the boy always asks. Same thing I always ask.

I said nothing. Just the restaurant.

Then my son stood up, looked at his two oldest, most devoted, completely unpaid employees, and announced the restaurant was closing because everybody had to come hug him at the same time.

Worst-run business I've ever seen.

Nobody's ever getting fired from it.

[smv @slimvnsn]

My 3-year-old has opened a restaurant in the living room and the service is terrible.

He took my order with a crayon and a notepad, very serious, asked what I wanted, then informed me they only have one thing. The one thing is "soup." The soup is air. He carries it over in a real bowl with both hands like it weighs something.

I ate the air soup. He watched my face the whole time, waiting.

I said it needs salt.

He was deeply offended. Walked off. Came back, did something invisible over the bowl, and told me he fixed it. Same air. Now with salt apparently.

Then he handed me the bill. The bill is a leaf. He found it somewhere. I asked how much. He held up 7 fingers, then changed his mind and held up all of them, then said free for you because I love you, then immediately added but you pay 5.

I gave him 5 invisible dollars.

He put the invisible money in a real pocket, patted it, and said come again.

Then he closed the restaurant to lie face down on the floor for no reason, which honestly is how I feel about my own job most days.

[@sinead_ryan @sinead_ryan]

Boring, dull Government is really the best kind of Government.
#Starmer

[Paul Doyle @pauldoyle200]

One of the great things about a Scottish summer (when we get one) is the fact you can play golf up to 10.30pm in June #Scotland #Golf #Summer

[Emma Martin @EMartin88773]

The Opposite Olympics 🏆What other Sports should be added.!? 😲😭

[Gordon Brown @GordonBrown]

Keir Starmer’s place in history is assured. We owe Keir a debt of gratitude for taking Labour from its worst electoral defeat in 2019, bringing Labour back into government with a huge majority in 2024 and then guiding Britain through difficult times nationally and globally.

[DdR @DanielDeRoiste]

@EndaEndamac95 It’s very intense, and fast, very quickly you become an ER expert. The best series I’ve seen in a while.

[DdR @DanielDeRoiste]

@AkaPaulHoward He’s commentary and contributions are ‘top | top’, makes boring matches watchable, I’m not a footballing man though

[Mark MacNicol @markmacnicol]

Anyone interested in a private flight for 5 to Boston with us for Scotland next game against Morocco Friday? Looking for 3 more. DM me. Leaving Manchester 9am Friday, few beers, watch the game & head home following morning. Preferably someone with a private jet & tickets, otherwise we can't go.

[DdR @DanielDeRoiste]

@AkaPaulHoward I knew it Howard, I knew it, you couldn’t have been as good as you seem. The web is tightening, it’s a matter of time!

[whipping boy @WhippingBoyBand]

Our 1995 appearance on the Jools Holland show is now online in HD for the first time:

‘We Don’t Need Nobody Else’

Full video: https://t.co/s8dTerrI1r

[DdR @DanielDeRoiste]

@AkaPaulHoward Thanks Lad

[Mark Carney @MarkJCarney]

Nearly 170 Irish companies operate in Canada and our trade has nearly doubled over the last decade.

My message to Irish business leaders in Ottawa today: we have shared ambitions and values, and together, we can unlock new opportunities on both sides of the Atlantic.

[Spring-Nuts @SpringNuts_]

Awesome performance of Purple Rain by @springsteen and #Estreetband last night in Minneapolis at @TargetCenterMN . Absolutely stellar guitar work by Nils and Tom Morello. Stunning.

Video by SeanEsq on YouTube

#springsteen

[DdR @DanielDeRoiste]

Jerseys very similar #sixnations #fraveng