Daniel Xavier

i spend too much time cleaning and avoiding class

[Daniel Xavier @DanielOToole127]

I wanted my life at college to be like Skins but its been 4 months and its gonna be more like Inbetweeners

[Daniel Xavier @DanielOToole127]

@Psyfutures @GreatBritisher @PolitlcsUK Zero argument when you mess up typing "Disproportionately"

[Matt Crivelli @MattCrivelli]

For context on "why don't you Brits already have aircon when it's been around for 100 years", here's the latitude we're on.

[Daniel Xavier @DanielOToole127]

@Claire_Edberg @TopDastan @SkyNews Imagine going off at healthcare workers because the government failed BOTH of you

[Ryanair @Ryanair]

You going to update your tinder profile then?

[Daniel Xavier @DanielOToole127]

can people stop air frying shit please n thank u xx

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Me and my dad have played snooker a few times a month for the last year. Never beaten him. Never will. Highest break I've ever seen him get is 39, but I don't have the heart to beat him in case he stops wanting to play since it's the best laugh he has since mum passed

[cory @coolmathgame_]

termite twitter scares me

[chesk @FrancescaChesk]

I wouldn’t piss on her if she was on fire

[kie @criminalplaza]

i love how the entire internet came together to make fun of that one dude who has sex to that terrible, terrible song

[$𝔩𝔞𝔭☃️ @slvppy]

i can understand why chickens wake up and scream

[henry joce @henry_joce]

cooking together is NOT romantic, MOVE out my fucking way

[Gary Younge @garyyounge]

⁦@BorisJohnson⁩ this is my daughter, all dressed up, celebrating her birthday, with her mates, on zoom. She’s 8 and felt less entitled, acted more responsibly and exercised more self control than you. You’re literally less impressive than an 8 year old

[Daniel Xavier @DanielOToole127]

why does it feel like we're going into 2021

[It's Richard Stott @TheRstott]

Not getting covid 10 days before Christmas is our nation's Squid Game

[Meg @itsmeg_statham]

If nightclubs have to check for vaccine passports can they check for needles aswell while they’re at it, ta.

[Derek du Preez @Derek_duPreez]

That student in Nottingham that got fined £10,000 in January for having a party should be getting their fucking money back

[🦒 @clvtno]

The British media: