The Spectacular Spider-DAN

[The Spectacular Spider-DAN @Danny_Kozak]

It’s 2020 and I still haven’t had sex to an All American rejects song. My life has been a dismal failure.

[The Spectacular Spider-DAN @Danny_Kozak]

Knick Mullen

[Rushi @rushicrypto]

Imagine making 70-80k a year in the $500 apartment era.

[BENZO-KAZOOIE @BENZOTOOIE]

*zoomer Rodney Dangerfield*
I told my hb it’s problematic that he’s 20 and dating a high schooler.
He said “No cap?”
Yea, no gown either!

[Interesting AF @interesting_aIl]

An injection that can double a cat’s lifespan to 30 years has been developed

Clinical trials have begun, with regulatory approval projected in 2027

[Julian Casablancas @Casablancas_J]

...a firm handjob is worth a thousand tweets

[The Spectacular Spider-DAN @Danny_Kozak]

@MLB @RedSox

[MLB @MLB]

🚨 GREG HEFFLEY BOBBLEHEAD GIVEAWAY 🚨

Repost and reply for a chance to win or you'll get the cheese touch 🧀

[The Spectacular Spider-DAN @Danny_Kozak]

@Mets @CitiField Are those beers regulation?

[Drew Hernandez @DrewHLive]

Lindsey Graham every time he’s on Fox News pushing war

[Django Gold @django]

seems my ex-wife has child custodymogged me due to my neglectmaxxing

[The Spectacular Spider-DAN @Danny_Kozak]

God saw all that premarital sex you had. Take the eye black off

[The People’s Lesbo @brownsugalesbo]

Diggs seeing cops getting closer to the sideline with handcuffs out

[The Spectacular Spider-DAN @Danny_Kozak]

Today’s the day king. Grab that noose.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Whoever said “money can’t buy happiness” really knew what they were talking about 😔

[Stew Peters @realstewpeters]

TED CRUZ: "Let's stop attacking pedophiles.”

[The Spectacular Spider-DAN @Danny_Kozak]

@Mets Rest in Peace Dr. King. You would have loved Francisco Lindor.

[Dani 🩷🧸🎀 @yourrrfavdani]

NFL wants to fine him for this but held a moment of silence for a racist, bigot podcaster. What a joke

[Kendra Middleton @KendraMiddleton]

Joey Bosa realizing they aren’t going to the White House