Danny

theetwat

[Danny @Danny_Mattocks]

First time seeing a comedian last night, he was class.

[Jimmy Carr @jimmycarr]

I finished off the weekend with a show at the First Direct Arena in Leeds! Leeds! Leeds! last night.
Next week I’ll be in Manchester, Swansea and the O2 and Wembley Arena in London. If you fancy a laugh before Christmas, tickets can be found here https://t.co/lJEYTpUHl3

[Danny @Danny_Mattocks]

Country is on its arse

[Danny @Danny_Mattocks]

@davidcollinscv4 Megamind have a minute.

[Danny @Danny_Mattocks]

😂

[Matthew @regionalthicko]

Can we please stop referring to the rioters as thick cunts. I’m a thick cunt and I don’t want to be tarred with the same brush as these troublemakers

[Fuck off @Get_effed]

Even Oceangate made better subs than Southgate

[Danny @Danny_Mattocks]

Some man

[Russ Cook @hardestgeezer]

The first person ever to run the entire length of Africa. Mission complete🫡

[Russ Cook @hardestgeezer]

The first person ever to run the entire length of Africa. Mission complete🫡

[Danny @Danny_Mattocks]

Gonna be bald time I’m 30. 🧑🏼‍🦲

[Dave Parkinson (Thoughts are my own) @DaveParkinsonRL]

Looking forward to heading over to @BentleyARLFC in a while. Exciting day for the club. Official opening of their new clubhouse and hosting @hensingham_arl and we will have live mixlr commentary this afternoon.

[Danny @Danny_Mattocks]

2 more days of graft then weekend away in Portugal

[Irish Ranger (Sevvy) @VeteranIrish]

Spare a thought for poor ole Michael O’Leary, Chief Executive of Ryanair.

After arriving in a hotel in Manchester, he went to the bar and asked for a pint of Guinness.

The barman nodded and said, "That will be £1 please, Mr. O’Leary."

Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.

"Well, we do try to stay ahead of the competition", said the lbarman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday from 6 pm until 8 pm. We have the cheapest beer in England".

"That is remarkable value", Michael comments.

"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours. That will be £3 please."

O'Leary scowled, but paid up.

He took his drink and walked towards a seat. "Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra £2. You could have pre-booked the seat, and it would have only cost you £1."

"I think you may be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please".

Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in, he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".

"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of £4 for your seat sir".

O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another £3."

O'Leary was so incensed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".

"I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be £2 please."

O'Leary's face was red with rage. "Do you know who I am?"

"Of course I do Mr. O'Leary."

"I've had enough! What sort of a Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!"

"Here is his e-mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9.00 am and 9.01am every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only £1 per second, or part thereof".

"I will never use this bar again".

"OK sir, but do remember, we are the only hotel in England selling pints for £1."
🍺🍺

[Egremont Rangers @EgremontR]

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟯 𝗡𝗖𝗟 𝗥𝗨𝗚𝗕𝗬 𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗚𝗨𝗘 𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗥𝗧 𝗖𝗨𝗣 🏆

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝟭𝟲

Group C
@BentleyARLFC
@NormantonARLFC
@RaidersOulton
@SeatonRangersRL

Back Your Favourite 🔙
Vote Below ⬇️
&
Spread The Word 🔁

#RLSD23 | @RLShirtDay | @OfficialNCL

[BentleyARLFC @BentleyARLFC]

⭐️Any Dons fan with a match ticket will get 10% off when showing your ticket at our bar.⭐️

Come down and take a look at our new facility. Support the Dons but also support the grass roots 💙💛

@hallyboy03 @Doncaster_RLFC @Six_Again

[Danny @Danny_Mattocks]

@OfficialVizeh You’re a first class cunt.

[BentleyARLFC @BentleyARLFC]

💙💛 We are recruiting 💙💛

We are delighted to announce we will be running a winter aide for the first time in a number of years.

We are recruiting players of all ability for our winter side which will be made up from a mixture of our summer sides and current U16s.

[Danny @Danny_Mattocks]

Time for retirement 🤦‍♂️

[BentleyARLFC @BentleyARLFC]

🚨🚨🚨 Breaking News 🚨🚨🚨

🏉🏉🏉🏉🏉🏉🏉🏉🏉🏉🏉🏉

We are very proud to announce that the long awaited opening of our new Club House will be this Saturday the 26th August. Final sign off was achieved today 🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾

[Danny @Danny_Mattocks]

Been a long ass week I’ll tell thee

[Danny @Danny_Mattocks]

100% @jordmiddleton

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

I think I watch too much porn. I was watching a top 10 cumshots video and could identify each male performer by his nob and the way he tossed himself off