Kampala is facing a crisis worse than inflation or fuel prices: a severe shortage of quality men.
For women looking for someone who ticks all the boxes, the market is in shambles. Growing up on Disney, many expected a 6’2” prince with a corporate job, good looks, and a Range Rover. Reality is different. You either get the short corporate guy with a good salary who makes you wear flats, or the tall, attractive man whose bank balance is 4,500 UGX and a vape.
Then there’s the employed but emotionally unavailable man still living with his mother in Kyanja. In this economy, financial stability is the new attraction. A man who is tall, rich, handsome, employed, and mentally sound is treated like a limited-edition asset under constant watch.
The shortage has also created “indoor husbands.” These men stay home gaming and watching Netflix while their partners wake up at 5:00 AM to hustle through traffic. He texts about food delivery and complains about Wi-Fi, drives her car to drink with friends, and leaves her to handle rent and bills. His only contribution is presence and attitude.
Desperation has fueled another market: young men selling companionship to wealthy widows and divorced professionals. With sharp haircuts and no real assets, they offer conversation, massages, and company in exchange for allowances, shopping, and a fueled car. They wait in hotel lobbies, turning male companionship into a paid service.
Ironically, traditional power still exists elsewhere. Some boda riders and drivers with little education command full respect at home, while corporate men in Kololo are interrogated by partners even after paying all the bills.
With men in their 20s focused on betting and gaming, many women have turned to older men. A 55- to 60-year-old with a potbelly, land titles, and a pension now looks like Brad Pitt. This has sparked a generational battle, with women in their 20s competing with their mothers’ peers for these men.
Offices have become hunting grounds. Interns volunteer for overtime and “mentorship” with married directors, bringing coffee and snacks, hoping to secure a sponsor.
Outside work, gyms in Kololo and Bugolobi are full of fit women who aren’t there to exercise. They’re there to meet men who can afford memberships and own property. At jazz nights and golf events, many don’t know the music or the sport. They’re scanning for men in linen shirts with money.
Competing is expensive. Women spend entire salaries on wigs, nails, and makeup to look wealthy for one four-hour cocktail. It’s a high-risk investment with the hope of landing someone who can pay rent.
Scarcity has also killed friendship. If a woman has a decent brother, she hides him. Friends will quickly turn into rivals.
Before a date, women now run full background checks: LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, even reflections in sunglasses. And with time short, some skip courtship entirely, thinking intimacy on date one will secure a man. It usually doesn’t. Others try fake pregnancy claims. Most men just block and ask for DNA tests.
If you do find a good man who works, pays rent, and respects you, hold on. In Kampala, the waiting list is long. Let go for five minutes and he’s gone. The supply is low, demand is high, and the certification for good men has expired.
✍🏼:Deox T
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UPDATE: Nalongo Zawedde Lubwama Lukwago, the wife of the PFF President and a lawyer in Dr Kizza Besigye's @kizzabesigye1 treason case, explains the events that led to the reported abduction of her husband by armed men on Monday morning.
Before his seizure, Lukwago @EriasLukwago_ posted on social media that two "drones" and security operatives had sealed off his home.
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