Irene Wood

Fear is the ultimate enemy... It holds you back from making better choices.

[Irene Wood @DanutaLeveeva]

Sometimes you gotta accept the fact that certain things will NEVER go back to how they use to be.

[Kelly Mills @AlmyashevagE1]

First day of school hoes be like ''OMG , Time for a new start!!'' Bitch please, ain't nobody forget about what you did last year.

[Patsy Sykes @KalikanovMega]

That awkward moment when you're about to walk into someone so you move out the way, but they move in the same direction.

[Tammy Scott @MissZakhariy]

That moment of disappointment when you can't find the answer to your homework on Google.

[Linda Woolf @Zbiglaya82Pe]

This is that awkward moment when we don't tweet about those usual awkward moment tweets.

[Irene Wood @DanutaLeveeva]

Next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... if you arent Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I dont give a shit!!!

[Irene Wood @DanutaLeveeva]

Paper cut = A tree's moment of revenge.

[Irene Wood @DanutaLeveeva]

Ever noticed how your funniness goes up 100% when you are around your best friend?

[Irene Wood @DanutaLeveeva]

My Boss asked me to start the Presentation with a Joke; I attached my Salary Payslip on the 1st Slide.

[Irene Wood @DanutaLeveeva]

"What's a c-section?"

[Michelle Petterson @BfeofilaktL]

Funniest thing ever: When people try hard to make you jealous, & they don't realize you don't give a damn.

[Irene Wood @DanutaLeveeva]

I know kung-fu, taekwondo, and 34 other dangerous words.

[Joyce Hill @75Foka]

W.O.M.A.N: Wise. Outstanding. Mature. Awesome. Nuturing

[Irene Wood @DanutaLeveeva]

Did you know that "Dammit I'm Mad" spelled backwards is "Dammit I'm Mad?"

[Irene Wood @DanutaLeveeva]

Lies - Im fine : That was my last piece of gum : Ill call you back : Im on my way : I never got that text : I promise I won't laugh.

[Irene Wood @DanutaLeveeva]

Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.

[Barbara Bruder @92_astankova]

Phones get thinner and smarter. People get fatter and stupid.