Daryl Mackey

🤠🤠🤠

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

They hated Jesus, for he used to call me on my cell phone
He used to, he used to...

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

>open twitter for the first time in a while
>still just titties everywhere

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

What if you absolutely demolished your meat and it stopped working and then you found out you got the Mangekyou Sharingan

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

@derhayden Underrated tweet, this goes hard, Hayden

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

Awww hell naw they eatin ass in Halo

[Delta @Delta_ae]

Flat tire? No problem. Rim jobs are coming to #HaloInfinite

New equipment, repair field, set to release later in season 5 #HaloReckoning

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

Babe I told you, I couldn’t buy you a gift this year because I financed the Costco pallet at 13% APR

[Gannon Breslin @gannonbreslin]

Costco is now offering a 157-piece Le Creuset set for $4,500 that arrives at your home on a PALLET

Probably every kitchen item you will ever need. Worth it?

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

DAWG I AM CRYING😭😭😭

[ghost 𖤐 @ghostcoochie]

haruta stronger than me cause i would’ve unzipped nanami’s pants and showed shibuya a real incident

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

My personal hell is being stuck 3 cars behind a semi going just under the speed limit on a one-lane road, but there’s too much oncoming traffic to pass them all in one go

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

My birthday wish is for y’all to have a good day and to drink plenty of water :)

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

I dated a girl like this once and I’m still recovering from the fallout

[xX KIWI Xx @kiwithesmol]

i ate cookies for dinner last night… :>

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

“If my dog doesn’t like you, I won’t like you”
Bro, think for yourself, what are you even talking about

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

I am in a state of shock. Did eating ass just completely fall out of favor like a small political party failing to garner support? You never hear about it anymore.

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

Can we talk about the phenomenon of older people just being physically in the way no matter where you go in public? Trying to walk past them? They shuffle to block you with their back to you. Trying to grab something off a shelf? Both them and their cart is parked there.

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

More powerful than Thanos, my God

[P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way @thickslimshady]

Beat it so good last night I woke up and my coochie in the kitchen frying bacon

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

I no longer beat my meat… I conquer and vanquish it like a Dark Souls boss

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

I came up with another term for people that are into edging while high last night: people who enjoy being held at cum point

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

WHY DO I HAVE BACK DIMPLES, I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

Am… am I autistic? This would work and dispel any doubts I had

[Vivian @suchnerve]

seduce an autistic man with this one simple trick!!

directly tell him you’re attracted to him, that you want to go out on a romantic date with him, and that this is not a joke, prank, or just being nice, nor is there additional meaning hidden between the lines

[Daryl Mackey @Daryl_Mackey]

Guess who was tucked in and asleep by 9:00 PM on a Saturday night and then woke up at 3:30 AM with moderate lower back pain
That’s right, bitches, it was me