Dave Farrand

Hullo. Ma names Dave. A luv the carling, the queen and most importantly brexit Hate the ISUS and the FORRENS

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

First day back today. Gaffer giving it the full 2 meter eat out help out routine. Heard it enuff. Asked if I get time and a haff fur throughly munching out his misses minge. Could see red mist cum out his eyes as he broke social distancin coming in for a jab. He feel on his arse.

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

... car... len... WERE FOOKIN BACK LADS DUWN LUKAL ONCE AGAIN

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

@CallumAdams69 @Renstar100TB @SirPuga_____ @DJayG03 I’m not a kid, unlike you I am actually employed and do not have to live off the money kids pay you to try and get you angry. As I’m sure you’ve not forgotten that’s what your entire reputation is built upon, kids laughing at you getting angry. What a legacy to leave behind - Ren

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

Hullo all. Back on twitta spent me time in Luton county holdin seel. Shocked. Only had about 18 Carlin’s and drove at like 100. The raw cheek. Back now all. God save are queen an brexit.

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

Censoring yer fookin chebs with emojis int marketing. It’s not an advert if it’s own yer own fookin twitta. Mirror selfies ain’t photography sunshine. Cuttin a 20 vid of you flickin yer bean int exactly SFX and the lads that wank off to yer will need a psychologist after this

[Chelsea Ferguson @chelsf3rg0]

Marketing, advertising, photography, picture and video editing, psychology, comedian, model, theres a lot of “real jobs” we use the skills of, to become successful in it. Also I’ve paid 6 figures, in tax, last year alone.

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

Buzzing for brexit. Up the boris. Carlings all round. Took next week off. Going huntin for the new 50p tomorrow. Cheers

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

Missus told us to get in bed. Told her to fuck not sleepin in case sum prick cancels brexit again.

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

@the__dlc Wow Dylan. Be sure to pump his maw

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

Rite what’s this pish aboot some deadly corona virus? Coroners for poofs. Officalee callin it Carling Virus.

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

Hullo lads a lokul. Went in for appendeecitus. Walked in with be motoroler. Securetee team Chored it off is. Fumin. 2 weeks without twitta. Missin lokul too. Have to invest in a nokier to ceaster next time I huv to gin for surgery. Back now. Brexit means brexit.

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

@JoeSmithBrexit Betta not up in jail joe.

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

@indiasdad2486 White Carling.

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

Nippers burd is sullying our tv with that luv Ireland muck. Fumin wanted match of the day oan. Some of the lasses have nice arses but. Crank one out to them before I sleep the night.

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

@gb_paul @ChrisBaileyGB Outraged paul, had me gettin me motoroler doon me arse to see if there was damage.

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

Pounder after me time at lokul. Sick. Can barely walk. Expected the nippers to be running riot. Git up. Quiet. Go the kitchan. Full engerlash on table. All of em sat dowen. They start beltin god save are queen. Heads pounding but I still let out a tear. Carlings all round.

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

@gb_paul Fayke noos I’ll no be at yer pub again paul. Poofter.

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

@gb_paul WHAT THE FUCK. PLEASE TELL ME A CLOBBERED THEM BOFF.

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

Hello everyone. Fuck Megan the anti loyalist prick. Downin me sorrows in Carling at lokul.

[Dave Farrand @DaveFarrand]

Hullo all, satardee off. Buzzin. Cracking open 3 Carlings an downin them in a row before lokuls opened. See yer down there.

[sharlene @bigsharlene]

am boiled to me core, kids just come home an starterd spreying lynx africer everywhere, house is smeling like a cotton field