The Diddliest of Davids

A mother with far more Kohl’s cash than you.

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

Me parking, Dad:are you straight? Me: no but that's not relevant in this situation. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

As a taxpayer does it matter if you know which months have 31 days

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

Me running into my boyfriend at work.

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

Oh no I missed all the parades and celebrations for Military Appreciation Month. Oh well cant be mad about pride parades and celebrations you had your month.

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

Daft Punks random access memories 10th anniversary is ✨✨✨🤖🤖🤖

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

The cats getting wet food because we are out of dry food screams “lets just order a pizza” mentality

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

Wearing a crop top in public. If me 5 years ago could see me now.

[Evah Destruction 👑 @EvahDestruction]

10 years-

Bitch…that’s so freaking crazy to me wow.

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

Gurl I see what these editors are tryna do to @LooseyLaDuca and I 👏🏻 WONT 👏🏻 HAVE 👏🏻 IT. I LOVE HER.

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

One time I forgot about a math class for three weeks. Then I did 167 algebra problems that were so heavy I dropped out of college the end.

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

@ra3chuu Paint your finger nails and find solace knowing theyll still look good after practice.

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

Me: *visibly crying through the sad part of a movie*
My boyfriend *rolls over in disgust* “Is this over yet.

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

First large scale staging with ALL the staff at the same time, and I am being so brave about it.

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

Me buying anyone’s Christmas gift.

“If they don’t fuckin like it I’ll give it to becks”

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

My boyfriend is yelling at me for something I did in a dream last night.

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

@ra3chuu Uchealths minimum wage is $18. Lots of non degree non certification jobs available

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

Guys I literally just wanna buy wine while grocery shopping. I thought this was a blue state. 🙄🙄🙄

[The Diddliest of Davids @DavidQue59]

Having integrity is the worst.