The All American

Comedian | Host | Fargo | Cellar Comedy Club | Tim & Dave Show | Alf | Radio Free Fargo KRFF | 701 | Davey & Rascal Show 95.9FM Tues 7am-9am |

[The All American @DavidStandal]

Bank robber: step on it!

Other bank robber: [putting gun to drivers head] fucking drive or I’ll kill you

[lights start flashing in car]

Robber: what the fuck

Cab driver: [through tears] welcome to cash cab

[The All American @DavidStandal]

Do you guys ever regret not taking your grandmother's medication? You were too young to conceptualize how high you could have gotten?

[The All American @DavidStandal]

relatable "ickness" #comedy #standup #fyp #foryoupage #relatable #dating #ick #women #kamalaharris #trump #mags #Joebiden #kyliejenner #kimkardashian #autism #vote #recovery #crab #fargo #northdakota #dougburgum #legalizeit #lbtq #trans #nonbinary #jdvance

[The All American @DavidStandal]

You know Alf runs with Lil Reese & them

[The All American @DavidStandal]

Fargo PD be like.. help us find this criminal. Like I'm suppsoed to locate El Chupacabra.

[The All American @DavidStandal]

Fargo PD be like:

LOOK SEE! WE GOT A GAY OFFICER! WE'RE GOOD, RIGHT? SEE WE ARENT ALL BAD. REMEMBER THAT WHEN SHE'S PUTTING YOU IN THE SLEEPER HOLD. WE LOVE GAYS.

[The All American @DavidStandal]

You're a little boot licking nark, Hannah. Pigs don't get Peanut Butter Patties.

[The All American @DavidStandal]

Hey everybody, look at Junior Officer Dipshit. Thin Blue Line? I bet you can't even spell "Blue" you piece of shit.

[The All American @DavidStandal]

FUN FACT: a good way to reduce depression symptoms. Is to take the medication prescribed to you by your doctor.

[The All American @DavidStandal]

*smoking with my friend*

Friend: Bro are you high?

Me: Yeah dude, I'm —

[The All American @DavidStandal]

Me to new open mic comedians

[The All American @DavidStandal]

Some one get the Lorax a freaking gun.

[The All American @DavidStandal]

Racist Radio Station

[The All American @DavidStandal]

When I take exquisitely high doses of DMT this is what I hope to achieve.

[The All American @DavidStandal]

Imagine a police dog gives you this stupid look before biting your nuts and face off.

[The All American @DavidStandal]

Jahova at my door: "Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?"

Me: "Man.. (drags vape) Jesus huh? haven't heard that name in ages."

[The All American @DavidStandal]

American Marketing at its finest

[The All American @DavidStandal]

Remember. Not all dogs go to heaven.

[The All American @DavidStandal]

@z_ritty I've watched both my high school sro & principle beat some ass. All black kids.

[The All American @DavidStandal]

Hey I drove out to Bismarck to do this podcast with a couple cool white dudes. Many topics are covered. Give it a watch or face my wrath. https://t.co/Z3QX2C6L6E