CryptoSteve2.0 @DefiHope - Twitter Profile

@cherdougie @polychain @archetypevc @hack_vc @FalconXGlobal @seedclub @seedclubvc Congrats and excellent team roster! Did notice no finance person. Reach out anytime! https://t.co/B4WSKLDCQo

CryptoSteve2.0

@DefiHope

2 months ago

I’m a finance guy at startups. My job is basically being the designated driver at a party where everyone’s already three rounds of venture capital deep. Every CEO I’ve ever worked for has said the same thing in our first meeting: “We need someone to build finance from scratch.” That’s startup for “we’ve been expensing everything to one credit card and the password is someone’s dog’s name.” I’ve raised close to 60 million dollars across six companies. Which sounds impressive until you realize that’s also how much I’ve watched get spent on ping pong tables and cold brew subscriptions. I’m not building financial models. I’m building a case for why we can’t have an office barista. I worked in crypto for a while. I co-founded a DAO that raised 7 million dollars in seven days for Ukraine. Try explaining that at Thanksgiving. “So you have fake internet money… in a fake internet company… and you gave it to a real war?” Yes, Dad. That’s exactly right. The best part of crypto was the transparency. Everything’s on the blockchain. You know what’s not transparent? Every other company I’ve worked for. I’ve walked into books so messy they make my kid’s bedroom look like a museum exhibit. People ask me what I actually do all day. Honestly? I find costs that are hiding below the gross margin line like they’re in witness protection. “Oh, that $400K? That’s not a cost of goods, that’s… a vibe.” No. That’s your contribution margin, and it’s lying to your investors. I put my Calendly link on everything. My resume, my emails, my cover letters. At this point I’m one bad week away from putting it on a bumper sticker. “How’s my driving? Book 25 minutes and tell me.”

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CryptoSteve2.0

@DefiHope

2 months ago

Net net: mi laburo es entrar a una empresa, encontrar la verdad en los números, y después explicarle a la gente por qué la verdad es mejor que la historia que se venían contando. A veces me quieren por eso. A veces me echan por eso. Supongo que soy bueno en lo que hago. Jk not jk.

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CryptoSteve2.0

@DefiHope

2 months ago

I’m a finance guy at startups. My job is basically being the designated driver at a party where everyone’s already three rounds of venture capital deep. Every CEO I’ve ever worked for has said the same thing in our first meeting: “We need someone to build finance from scratch.” That’s startup for “we’ve been expensing everything to one credit card and the password is someone’s dog’s name.” I’ve raised close to 60 million dollars across six companies. Which sounds impressive until you realize that’s also how much I’ve watched get spent on ping pong tables and cold brew subscriptions. I’m not building financial models. I’m building a case for why we can’t have an office barista. I worked in crypto for a while. I co-founded a DAO that raised 7 million dollars in seven days for Ukraine. Try explaining that at Thanksgiving. “So you have fake internet money… in a fake internet company… and you gave it to a real war?” Yes, Dad. That’s exactly right. The best part of crypto was the transparency. Everything’s on the blockchain. You know what’s not transparent? Every other company I’ve worked for. I’ve walked into books so messy they make my kid’s bedroom look like a museum exhibit. People ask me what I actually do all day. Honestly? I find costs that are hiding below the gross margin line like they’re in witness protection. “Oh, that $400K? That’s not a cost of goods, that’s… a vibe.” No. That’s your contribution margin, and it’s lying to your investors. I put my Calendly link on everything. My resume, my emails, my cover letters. At this point I’m one bad week away from putting it on a bumper sticker. “How’s my driving? Book 25 minutes and tell me.”

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832