Kylie

Twitter: my online diary to strangers. enjoy

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

I'm watching a documentary about whales.... jk it's just the reflection in my iPad

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

I'm looking at wedding dresses on Pinterest and I haven't had a boyfriend since middle school....

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

I'm literally a train wreck,no wonder nobody will date me

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

Umm excuse me... I am wife motha fuckin material

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

Antidepressants, wine, and masturbation is what my life has come to

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

I may like older men but that doesn't mean I have daddy issues. My father is a fully functional alcoholic

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

I've become such a hateful person, I think that's why I'm starting to enjoy @danieltosh

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

Don't drink and snap people... Don't drink and snap 😳

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

I'm tindering again... God help me

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

Getting drunk and watching @danieltosh until I have to go to work again.. Occasionally masturbating in between

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

It's hard for me to be a normal person

[🇨🇦𖤐 Father Red McGee 𖤐 🇨🇦 @FatherRedMcgee]

Let's get naked, smear each other in Vaporub, and roll around on the bed until we decongest.

- Cold Sext

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

Sometimes you don't realize until later in life but, alcohol does solve the majority of your problems

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

Why lay in bed alone when you could lay on top of me?

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

*masturbates the stress away

[Adult Humor 18+ @AduItHumour]

When your teacher is hot.

[Hunter Wulff @wulffisthename]

The literal second that I stepped into this bar, Paper Planes started playing. That's it. That's the most cinematic entrance I'll ever have.

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

My sex life has turned into watching porn alone and crying

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

I'm at the point in my life where I'm like, fuck off if you don't wanna be with me #sorrynotsorry

[Kylie @DefinitelyIrish]

I need a guy with tattoos to slap my ass