crystal delancey

I enjoy otters.

[🔥Reverend Aiden @SweetFnLucifer]

You're goddamn right I want every last motherfucker in Texas to get a vaccine. I'm talking everyone, including all the cosplay cowboy douchebags I despise. The last thing we need is a new super skanky deadly strain emerging from some Texan MAGA-church glory hole.

[Beto O'Rourke @BetoORourke]

We made over 151,000 calls to senior citizens in Texas tonight. One of our vols talked to a man stranded at home w/out power in Killeen, hadn’t eaten in 2 days, got him a ride to a warming center and a hot meal. Help us reach more people, join us tomorrow: https://t.co/WOLn2HCrm1

[crystal delancey @DelanceyCrystal]

@spicycasserole @SierraWritesYA 🤣🤣🤣You are not alone. 🤣🤣🤣

[Councillor Rowan Battley @CllrBattley]

My wife Lola will be selling her crocheted dolls in the precinct this Saturday, all proceeds to the drop-in-centre. For God's sake buy one, she's made 600 of the bloody things. They're all over the house. Every time I open the airing cupboard it's like being attacked by Chucky.

[Eliza Orlins @elizaorlins]

Capitol riot suspect Eric Munchel, dubbed "zip tie guy," to be released from jail pending trial.

As a public defender, I represented a client charged with stealing detergent. Held in on $3000 bail he could not afford.

Two. Systems. Of. Justice.

[Emma Scott @EmmaScott]

A 6-year old ballet student asked me today if I'm excited about getting my "Fauci Ouchie" soon, and I will now be referring to the covid-19 vaccine as only that, because it's the cutest thing ever.

[crystal delancey @DelanceyCrystal]

@Thinkwert There is now an incredibly introspective bear lounging in my mental happy place. Thank you!

[Carl Quintanilla @carlquintanilla]

“If it wasn't my job, I would have done that for free. .. It was absolutely my pleasure to crush a white nationalist insurrection... and we’ll do it as many times as it takes.”

Thank you, D.C. Police Officer Daniel Hodges. 💯

(via @nbcwashington)

[Dave DiCello @DaveDiCello]

I couldn't think of any better place to watch the sunrise this morning than the Mr. Rogers statue.

And what a beautiful sunrise in was. Maybe Pittsburgh's favorite neighbor had a hand in making it so special.

Or maybe the two of them just sat back and enjoyed it together.

[crystal delancey @DelanceyCrystal]

@LCattheBeach @ahjay60 @ArasAroyan @CCCavanaugh @cm_merlin @intranautt @MarkDistance @Maxamil27485164 @mdawson_94 @pqben42 @Rich_Cranium @rifftide_singer @sacdamb @scott_sdmoore @snarcastic2020 @TabCox @TracieLVaughn Thank you for including me. 😁

[Susie Dent @susie_dent]

Word of the day is 'desiderium' [dessi-deer-ium]: a longing for something once possessed but now lost.

[Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich]

the real culprits in all of this are the producers of The Apprentice, who took a bankrupt imbecile with no impulse control and the attention span of a coked-up squirrel and peddled him to millions of gullible dopes as ThE sMaRtEsT bUsInEsSmAn In ThE wOrLd. holy fucking shit

[crystal delancey @DelanceyCrystal]

@cannibinol420 Thanks! The new job is staring to wear thin, as is wearing pants. Being unemployed certainly blew though.

[crystal delancey @DelanceyCrystal]

@pulte Yup

[crystal delancey @DelanceyCrystal]

@Chelseaisee I sure did. We had a wonderful Christmas. I hope you did too.

[crystal delancey @DelanceyCrystal]

Can I wake up my husband at 6 am because I really want to open my presents? 🤔🤔🤔 I feel as though I shouldn't, but I'm almost certainly going to anyway.

[caitie delaney @caitiedelaney]

I care more about John Mulaney than most of the people I’ve actually met

[crystal delancey @DelanceyCrystal]

https://t.co/qB9YGlswMs