Demetrius Justiniano

There is always a 50% chance something happens. It happens or it doesn’t.

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

When I forget my bags to bring to Aldi but I’m genuinely in the car already

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

@gaypoopfartpoo

[jes ˙⋆✮ @d7stro]

Y'all just oomfs to me.

[Governor Josh Shapiro @GovernorShapiro]

LEBRON IS COMING TO PHILLY.

By the power vested in me as the Governor of the great Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and a die-hard Sixers fan... I hereby proclaim today to be LEBRON JAMES DAY.

Welcome to the City of Brotherly Love, @KingJames.

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

How chai be acting in America

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

Drinking lemonade and eating cool ranch doritos is a different type of funk

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

I simply will not be listening to all that

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

Note to self

Dont arrive to work at 9

Dont take lunch at 12

Dont leave work at 5

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

White airheads on top

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

Moms are crazy cause youll dead ass be spinning then they start getting dizzy for u

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

To all the coffee shops that open at 10am and close at 3pm, who exactly is your target audience?

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

Anytime you look home home decor ideas. Its just lowlight slop

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

Chipotle just hooked me up I’m about to buh

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

Someone gave me $10 today #blessed

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

Asked the pizza mfers if they had any sauce and dude said “define sauce”

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

Dont trust me around a coffee shop

[Sarah Everett @goddammitsarah]

dumbest shit imaginable happening there and it's so cool man, what a great city

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

THE KNICKSSS

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

Im going to take you to pegatory

[Demetrius Justiniano @DemetriusJust26]

Listened to peak 4 times today 😩