Derek

Former owner of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

[Derek @DerekMelanson]

@Sam_Vecenie @hodgebone If “good” means playoff team, then sure. They are a bottom half seeded playoff team. They were the 2 seed last yr. The scheme is too strong, that’s why it stinks. It’s why they get bounced on years they should not. Needed to change. But it won’t now.

[Derek @DerekMelanson]

Hate it. Not sure how this is good. Make the team that knocked you out better. If this the Cs plan then this is bad. There best be another move.

[Shams Charania @ShamsCharania]

BLOCKBUSTER: The Boston Celtics have agreed to trade Jaylen Brown to the Philadelphia 76ers for Paul George, two first-round picks and two second-round picks, sources tell ESPN.

[FOX 4 NEWS @FOX4]

Norway fans take over Happiest Hour in Dallas 🇳🇴

[Derek @DerekMelanson]

Couldn’t ask for a better 1st half in the 1st game for the @USMNT. Great possession. Great ball movement. Great team play.

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

🚨 BREAKING: Xabi Alonso has accepted to become Chelsea next manager, HERE WE GO! 🔵🔜

The agreement is set to be completed.

#CFC prepare official announcement for the upcoming days, but Xabi said YES. 💣

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

Well, tomorrow is Mother's Day. And the results of the Weekend Update "Why My Mom is the Best" essay contest are in.

First place goes to Jennifer Hunter, of Morristown, New Jersey.

While last place was a tie...

Between Eric and Lyle Menendez.

[YG @Young_Gritty]

BREAKING: Gavin McKenna is expected to meet with State College Police tomorrow. The expectation is he request jail time instead of being drafted to the Maple Leafs.

[Linda @LndamyDark]

George Carlin was way ahead of his time! Anybody know what year this was from? Too bad we didn't listen.

[ProFootballTalk @ProFootballTalk]

If the NFL's recent acquisition of 10 percent of ESPN means ESPN will go easy on the NFL, Michael Wilbon did not get the memo. https://t.co/NsNvgdwOxT

[Derek @DerekMelanson]

Yes, be resilient. Also don’t gag away a 2 goal lead in 10 minutes. That too please.

[Boston Bruins @NHLBruins]

Be resilient.

[Jerry Thornton @jerrythornton]

To summarize: He’s saying “This team is nothing but a commodity now. A cash cow to be milked dry. And you’re all fooked as long as FSG owns it.”

[Derek @DerekMelanson]

@jerrythornton I honestly have no idea what Sam Kennedy is saying. I’ve read it five times. It’s all empty language. But it makes sense as the product they produce is empty as well.

[NASA @NASA]

Liftoff.

The Artemis II mission launched from @NASAKennedy at 6:35pm ET (2235 UTC), propelling four astronauts on a journey around the Moon.

Artemis II will pave the way for future Moon landings, as well as the next giant leap — astronauts on Mars.

[Derek @DerekMelanson]

Congrats to UConn( can’t believe I typed that, yech) but let’s be honest Duke choked that game away for 20 minutes. It was excruciating to watch. #MarchMadness

[Derek @DerekMelanson]

@ESPNFC Great. 11 guys looking like Waldo.

[Derek @DerekMelanson]

I think this might be a good moment to try and unlock Auston Matthews’ elite offensive talent. The need for the 200 foot game is kinda over. #USAHockey

[Derek @DerekMelanson]

Canada has dominated the USA for 2+ periods. USA is lucky to make it to the OT. Going to take an elite level play to win the #GoldMedal for USA.

[Derek @DerekMelanson]

You can have the best Goalie in the game, the 2nd best Dman on the ice but if can’t get the puck from any of the Canadian Forwards then it won’t really matter. USA hasn’t generated any sustained offense in almost 2 periods. #USAvsCanada

[Youth Inc. @YouthInc]

Jim Craig breaks down how Team USA Hockey beat the Soviet Union at the 1980 Olympics 🥇

Watch the full conversation with Jim Craig and Greg Olsen out now on YouTube. Link in bio!

#Olympics

[USA Hockey @usahockey]

Quinn Hughes sends the U.S. to the semis 🇺🇸 #WinterOlympics