Derek Pawsey

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

Antti Niemi is undefeated, has the only shutout, is tied for 2nd in assists and 4th in overall points. Decent opener for the @DallasStars

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

@BabyPawsey Sorry Junior, there's no milk in these pipes! Try not to arm wrestle Moms boobs tomorrow! hahaha

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

@BabyPawsey Pretty big words for someone who peed themselves 9 times today and cried when the cat licked his foot. Keep dreaming, pipsqueak!

[Baby Pawsey @BabyPawsey]

Met new people today! The large furry one looks like me and seems nice. The pretty one contains food. They clean my poop, must be servants.

[Baby Pawsey @BabyPawsey]

Apparently today is my "Dude Date". I'm not sure what it means but I think I get to drink beer and play video games with a friend.

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

@Metrosean King Edward new Rideau. I walked by 5 minutes later and the drugs were gone. I either ruined a sting or some junkie won the lotto

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

Stop to grab a @metroottawa and find a crackhead loot bag. Stay classy @salvationarmy

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

@OC_Transpo just trolled my bus with a fake transit cop warning and 5 people scurried off. Well played.

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

OSAP paid off. Debt free. Feels good.

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

I'd say that aura of invincibility is officially gone #UFC168

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

Canada Post raised the price of mailing a letter to $1. Outrageous!!! This insanity will cost me an extra 47c per decade.

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

I've taken 20 trains in my life. 2 have been delayed due people getting hit. I'll warn you next time I travel. @VIA_Rail #lookbothways

[WIRED Design @Wired_Design]

Need a site to sell your already-Kickstarted product? Check what @shopify is doing: http://t.co/dIKcNpeMCL

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

@joerogan McAfee's back in the US. Have his crazy ass swing by Death Squad Studios. http://t.co/r5wIm0eG

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

The last time Patriots dominated the home team this badly it was 1621. Happy Thanksgiving!

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

Hurricane #Sandy has now officially caused more Halloween blackouts than Jagermeister.

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

Apparently it's becoming common to have strippers and pole dancing at funerals in Taiwan. Just a heads up, 80 years in advance; I want this.

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

Just realized I'm reading NPR on the right side of my screen while streaming Honey Boo Boo on the left. I think one nullifies the other.

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

I just discovered that the Playboy cover from the month I was born had Bo Derek on the cover...wtf, am I named after a Playboy cover?

[Derek Pawsey @DerekPawsey]

220 lbs in Canada, 235 in Australia, 185 in Asia. I am the personification of global obesity rates.