ohthatsjustDan

🎱years ahead but way behind🪩

[shattamovement @sunday_mic36760]

Dating me is like when you smoke so much u start getting scared

[saliva plath @cryptofeminism]

Guys that work at weed dispensaries are like “No bro I swear it’s not gonna feel like you’ve been wrapped with bandages and locked in a sarcophagus for 2 thousand years” meanwhile the strain is named The Mummy’s Curse Comes True

[poppa @popitforpoppa]

way too hot outside to be trusting a ho rn anyway

[angel @shyfojd]

im creepy as fuck when i like someone

[g @34rths]

Shoutout to my gut feeling You're lowkey always right

[misto @mistowho]

watch out car keys, I'm on my beeriod.

[♱ jane ♱ @janec0hen]

he loves me with every beat of his cocaine heart

[KJ 𝕩 @YeaaKJ]

i know the paper towels hate to see me coming in the kitchen

[Carmen @sillydracula]

Sometimes you’ll smoke weed around people who don’t and they’ll be like “Omg, every time I smoke it makes me freak the fuck out and scream and I call the cops and go to the hospital!!! Can I have a hit?”

[clay ⛷️ @hanfjob]

I know the Bud Light but I fuck with it heavy

[poet @wavstxr]

twitter is the most fun app cus u can actually jus get on here & lie

[frick @gofrickurself]

My pussy leads to the backrooms

[andrés. @andresmiguer]

esa sensación de ignorar un mensaje que antes morías por recibir

[z @z4pych4n]

a job? like that guy from the bible?

[sulky . . @sulky80715248]

I'm free right now if you want to be nice to me

[dick kickem @iShitInMyJNCOS]

She took my pronouns in the divorce