DetectiveHomicide

Instagramer

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

Yoooo wait but if there's a New England that means... England...

my man 😂🤝

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

Just threw my back out by blowing my nose too hard #mcqueenisfading

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I DONT WANNA CHECK YOUR BIO OR SEE YOUR HEADER STOP POSTING THAT FUCKING GARBAGE BULLSHIT CRAP

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

And b. How down bad do you gotta be to NOT EVEN BRUSH YOUR FUCKING TEETH JESUS CHRIST

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

Went to the dentists office today. When I was waiting I overheard a patient tell the hygienist that she’s “not taking good care of her teeth since she’s not doing well mentally”. How down bad do you gotta be to a. Seriously tell that to someone

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

Holy shit @monty69mole don’t move

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

Was skimming through an old Big Nate book when I saw something prophetic

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

Why is she dressed like Gru

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

Accidentally fell down the Tally Hall/Hawaii pt 2 rabbit hole again #notsurewhattohashtagthis

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

Two high school friends got engaged in the same week. Cant wait for my mom to ask me what my relationship status is!

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

@gopherhunter1 The Luke Maile’s of Austin Hedges, some would say

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

I’m a caniac for that box combo

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

Dude in my class keeps talking bout how travel has changed his life. I don’t really care about how South American nightlife is so superior to European nightlife. I don’t care you’ve only been to 12 US states but 27 countries. Please leave me alone I’m trying to doomscroll

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

To all my followers: what is the best fraternity letters to put in my bio to try and get some action? Serious inquiries only

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

“Oh man, she’s a got one mean RBF”
“A resting bitch face?”
“No I meant a root beer float”

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

@monty69mole She bath on my body til I candle

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

Oh you went out on a Friday night? No that’s cool. Yeah no I actually read a book, even lit a bath and body works candle. Even did a lil shoot the shit with the ‘rents (my roommates). Yeah I’ll probably take a NyQuil tonight to get over my cold. Fuck you

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

Girls will actually take a picture of literally anything. Went to a wedding recently and a girl at my table took a picture of some goosebumps she got. What are we doing here

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

@hogman29 Hear that gang? Mr. Hog has bad takes. Get em boys!

[DetectiveHomicide @DetHomicide]

Just saw a La La Land edit at 10:30 this morning. Guess who’s too emotionally devastated to get anything done at work today!