Diamond KK

Future World Dictator. Short in stature. Jazzercise Instructor Extraordinaire. Your best worst nightmare.

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

Traveling with a former minion today. Looks like someone will get to relive the glory days of carrying my bags. #imbackbaby

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

Other than planning world domination, the only thing I've done today is sit back and make @Martin23Noah regret his vacation. #blessed

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

Glad @Martin23Noah is back from vacation. Running this place without my minion is more work than I deserve.

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

Sometimes I tell people to call and then decline their call when they do. It reminds them of their place in life.

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

3 days into the Olympics and we have more bronze than gold. When I'm in charge that's going to change. #goldordietrying

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

I love when people make fun of me for being short. What they're really saying is, "We wish there was more of you!" #shortstature #tallego

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

Hope you enjoyed my vacation. Welcome to my first day back. If someone's not crying by 9 am I've failed.

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

Thought I might miss a few of my coworkers today. Turns out I can be wrong. Is this how average people feel? #firsttimeforeverything

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

Flights cancelled. Bags lost. Diamond KK's private jet on next month's expense report. #treatmelikeroyalty #overstupid

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

@ChrisThompsonNC You drove this to go get Luna Bars didn't you?

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

Apparently it's National Leave the Office Early Day-- or as my coworkers like to call it, Thursday.

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

@nathanasing @KelliKelly16 This is only the beginning

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

@dhewers @KelliKelly16 I'd settle with you being quiet.

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

@ChrisThompsonNC @KelliKelly16 Seems like an understatement, but I'll take it.

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

Yes, today is my birthday. If you're trying to come up with a gift, start with your soul & we'll go from there. If you call me old you die.

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

You will need what I tell you that you need. Don't ask for more. Don't ask for less.

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

People need to let me call the shots. Your life would be better and so would mine.

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

The people I work closest with are good. They aren't great though. Kind of like this bbq they're making me eat... #GSDMAY16

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

I don't like not knowing everything. I literally want to know everything. #literallymeanliterally

[Diamond KK @DiamondKK01]

What I lack in height, I make up in volume. #liveoutloud #loudandproud #hatersgonnahate