Mustache Diaries

Dude Brain
Anonymous guy thoughts.

[Mustache Diaries @DiariesMustache]

If a woman is going to wear open toed shoes those toenails better be painted!

[Mustache Diaries @DiariesMustache]

If you are ugly why waste money on expensive clothing?

[Mustache Diaries @DiariesMustache]

Am I supposed to pretend I dont hear a queef or laugh?

[Mustache Diaries @DiariesMustache]

I shave my balls and face with the same razor.
#balls #shave #babysmooth

[Mustache Diaries @DiariesMustache]

My favorite word is bukkake.
#word #bukkake #bukkakeparty

[Mustache Diaries @DiariesMustache]

I have a sneaking suspicion that 100% of a women's sex noises are fake.
#fake #FakeNews #moan

[Mustache Diaries @DiariesMustache]

The pinky toe is by far the ugliest toe.
#toes #ugly #RandomThoughts

[Mustache Diaries @DiariesMustache]

Do women wear mom jeans because they are tired of getting laid?

[Mustache Diaries @DiariesMustache]

Sex is a lot more messy for women.

[Mustache Diaries @DiariesMustache]

Dear Ladies,
He definitely sniffs his fingers after.

[Mustache Diaries @DiariesMustache]

I cant be the only person that puts my finger in my belly button and smells it.

[Mustache Diaries @DiariesMustache]

The side of my Driver's seat has an uncountable amount of boogers on it.

[Mustache Diaries @DiariesMustache]

If I would have know that women would stop wearing bras and only wear yoga pants I would have never gotten married.