Dingle

I created the Bean-Housemann Theorem. Author of the upcoming book, 'Aphorisms for the Common Man.'
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[Dingle @Dingel_]

stranger at the coffee shop: "Hi, do you mind if I steal this chair?"
me, listening to Back at the Chicken Shack by Jimmy Smith on my headphones: "What?"

[Dingle @Dingel_]

CORRECTION: I *hate people who love New York!!! I apologize for my error

[Dingle @Dingel_]

I have people who love New York

[Dingle @Dingel_]

I have people who love New York

[Dingle @Dingel_]

I bound the “Shit/Piss” button in #Arma3 to + so I can access it quickly, even while in combat

[Dingle @Dingel_]

Post-Nut Charity: every time you nut you have to donate to Habitat for Humanity

[Jake @JakeAlastair]

Top 10 Roadhog Players With Girlfriends

[Dingle @Dingel_]

I just wish the dog in the car in front of me knew how big a fan of his I am

[Dingle @Dingel_]

“Oh my God did you see Brian’s hat?“

[Dingle @Dingel_]

Old guys in flat caps always take 45 minutes to set up an amp for their restaurant music performances

[Dingle @Dingel_]

What’s your favorite non-Nidorino Pokémon?

[Dingle @Dingel_]

Ahh, words… the universal language

[Dingle @Dingel_]

Did I mention that I’ll be collaborating with this brilliant man on my upcoming award-winner, Aphorisms for the Common Man?

[Duckshank Buckworth @Duck_Shank]

Why did the chicken cross where the rubber hits the road to hell that’s paved with good intentions?

[Dingle @Dingel_]

Have you guys seen Alfonse Thibodeaux’s architecture work? His style is just so…

[Dingle @Dingel_]

White Guy Surprises No One By Ordering Chinese In Terrible, Broken Chinese

[Jake @JakeAlastair]

White Guy Offends And Confuses Everyone By Ordering Chinese Takeout In Perfect Japanese

[Dingle @Dingel_]

Beyond stoked to learn that you can use swear words in court without saying “And I quote” beforehand. Will save me a lot of time in the future.

[Dingle @Dingel_]

@oldfriend99 In medias res

[Dingle @Dingel_]

Searching “Fanny packs for men,” but IN PRIVATE!!

[Dingle @Dingel_]

Cut my strand into Okazaki fragments, this is my replication fork

[Dingle @Dingel_]

Day 4889 of petitioning Chris Martin (@ChrisOfColdplay) from #Coldplay to change the lyric “Once you go there was never, never an honest word” in the Coldplay song Viva La Vida to “Once you’d gone there was never, never an honest word,” I feel like I’m close now, he’ll crack soon