Jack

21 he/him shedtwt

The stats ↓↓
164cm, SW; 86kg, CW; 56 GW; 50kg UGW; 45kg

[Jack @DirKcal_]

Steadily losing weight, still feeling bloated and still more than a kg over lw but it's okay, whole life ahead of me

[Jack @DirKcal_]

Oh my god wait I just found out the kind of sweetener I got actually has calories it just doesn't show any nutritional info on the pakaging so I assumed it was negligable but it lowkey isn't??? it's just 40% less than sugar ??? fuck off???

[Jack @DirKcal_]

I wish nuts and dried fruits weren't so high calorie :(

[Jack @DirKcal_]

be seen that way by others. People found me attractive when I was fat, obviously, I got a lot of attention for my body, but it wasn't up to MY standard of beauty. I don't care that other people find me attractive if I don't feel attractive to myself.

[Jack @DirKcal_]

I think my ed is literally mostly vanity and it kills me because I feel like a fake. I think I always just thought i found thin bodies attractive and when i realized I could make myself thin and make me beautiful to myself i got consumed. I just want to find myself appealing and-

[Jack @DirKcal_]

1500 calories might be my most sustainable intake, I think I can actually do this forever, all food noise gone and I feel actually strong. Idk if it counts as recovery if I'm still restricting and in a deficit, but I feel less disordered.

[Jack @DirKcal_]

@n00niki

[Jack @DirKcal_]

Fun fact about me I used to eat apples with the cores when my executive dysfunction was so bad I couldn't even make myself go throw the core out so I just ate it. Stem included.

[lulu @szofrito]

Eating an apple while restricting be having you practically eating the core too

[Jack @DirKcal_]

@n00niki Wait were you a "get payed to eat weird shit" kid too?

[elora @k1llkcals]

having a healthy bmi while on edrtwt

[Jack @DirKcal_]

@omadaeri Your body used calories to make that skin, and it takes calories to digest, so you're still net losing calories when it comes to autocannibalism i think ???

[Jack @DirKcal_]

@onyxs_journal Ohh my fucking god this bitch needs to diy

[Jack @DirKcal_]

I'm a guy tho

[💜 vespera 💜 ☿♂♀ @neocollector]

yeah unless you’re 5’2 / 157cm or shorter i don’t wanna hear SHIT from you when short ppl are complaining about low bmr & tdee

[Jack @DirKcal_]

I love my mom so much but she keeps trying to like subtly pressure me into eating or drinking wine even thought she KNOWS i always say no and I haven't drank anything in months and I don't want to

[Jack @DirKcal_]

I don't know if I'm just paranoid because I'm mentally ill but I swear my mom wants to sabotage my weight loss

[Jack @DirKcal_]

I don't give a fuck homie

[nisa @sleepygfie]

there is probably someone out there on edrtwt calling your calorie intake their binge btw

[Jack @DirKcal_]

@bleedme_dRyy I love her but I really really regret opening up to her about this specifically because she hasn't been helpful once and triggered me multiple times while trying to be reasuring

[Jack @DirKcal_]

Still thinking about this genuienlly why did she think this was the right thing to say. This one comment is literally still triggering me and it's been like pver a week. Never open up to a non disordered thin person about your eating disorder istg.

[Jack @DirKcal_]

@n00niki Thank you 🥹

[Jack @DirKcal_]

tw bodycheck
Still a little bloated, I hope all this hydrating and fasting will get rid of it and the water weight(I hope it's still water weight)

[Jack @DirKcal_]

Did I just have reverse body dysmorphia and I was always this fat? Did I get too used to cw and the novelty of being thinner than BMI 30 has worn off and now I can see how actually not skinny I am

[Jack @DirKcal_]

tw bodycheck
Deluding myself into thinking this is all just bloat because why would I look so wide??? Like I'm bracing my core here it looks so much worse relaxed.